Everything is Wrong
by gjhill2
Summary: When something traumatic occurs right before graduation, everyone's lives will be changed forever. Promises that were once made are now shattered, and nothing is turning out the way they planned. Can Finn and Rachel find their way back together, or did the past change them too much? Takes place after nationals senior year and into the future. Future Finchel.
1. A Little Help From My Friends

**Okay, a little warning. This story will be intense and deal with serious subjects, so please be aware.**

**This story takes place after Nationals in Chicago and the New Directions won. **

**I do not own glee. Chapter title from "I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends" by The Beatles**

* * *

**Rachel**

"Come on Finn! We can't completely ignore everyone at the party." I said while pulling on Finn's reluctant arm.

"Rach, can't we stay in here a little longer? This might be the last chance we will get to have sex in my bed."Finn looked at me with a pout on his face, and I almost gave in to his pleading. Instead, I went up on my tiptoes and kissed him passionately on the mouth.

"That may be true, but just think of all the times we can christen our new bedroom on New York. No parents to walk in on us…" I smiled against his lips, and finally pulled back from him. "We will be together forever, but we won't see our friends all together like this is really long time, if ever again."

I saw Finn's resigned face and he nodded as he let me pull him out of his bedroom and down stairs. It was the Sunday after we won Nationals and we only had three days of classes left before Graduation on Thursday. Everything was coming to an end so quickly, and I wish I could slow it all down, and get some extra time.

If anyone would have told me that I would be wishing for high school to go closer, I would have called them crazy, but the last couple of months have been dream-like. This, I thought as I looked at all of my friends surrounding the camp fire, is what high school should have been like all along. But, it wasn't, so now I'm trying to make the best of it before Kurt, Finn, and I go off to New York.

We were a bit of a mess after hearing that Kurt and Finn didn't get into the schools of their choice, but we decided that New York is still where all of us wanted to be. While I was in school at NYADA, Finn and Kurt would get jobs and apply to a college in the city for the second semester. This gave them a chance to figure out where they wanted to go and what they wanted to become. Everything was going to be ok.

I looked around the fire at my friends and got sad as I heard them reminisce about old times. You could tell by looking at each of their faces that the fact that this would be the last time something like this would be happening was on everyone's mind. Kurt, Finn, Mercedes, Noah, Quinn, Santana, and I were all graduating soon, and the rest would have another year of high school without us.

* * *

Later that night, Finn and I sat on the hammock cuddling close with each other and talking in whispered tones. Most of our friends had left, and the only people still here were the two of us, Kurt and Blaine, and Puck.

"I'm so sorry to do this 'cause I know you're really comfy, but I really have to go to the bathroom."

I laughed a bit at his sorry expression. "It's fine Finn, just hurry back."I winked at him and his grin grew at my flirting. "Oh! Can you grab me some water, please!" I yelled after him and I knew he heard even though he didn't turn around because he held up his thumb in response.

I had just gotten comfy again and closed my eyes when I felt the hammock dip. I knew it couldn't be Finn since he had just left, and Blaine was "helping" Kurt pack (yeah right! they were totally having sex), so that just left Noah.

"Hey Noah." I said as I opened my eyes and smiled at him. We had gotten really close over the past couple of months. I had started to tutor him and Finn—Finn so he could get better grades and a solid SAT score (which he did!) and Noah so he could simply graduate high school and get out of Lima. Plus, Finn and him are closer than ever, and so we tend to hang out a lot. He is fiercely protective of me, and although he says it's only because I'm Finn's girl and a Jew, I know he has a soft spot for me just because.

"Hey my Jewish American Princess. How's it goin'?" He nudged me playfully and I laughed as he hit a ticklish spot.

"Good. Just sad thinking about not being able to call up the gang and do this all the time. You know, just hang out with friends…"

"Yeah, but you'll have Kurt and Finn with you in New York, and we always have summers and reunions. Plus, you're going to be a huge star, Berry, and we will all come and see you in your first Broadway show. You can quote me on this: You'll be the one to bring us all together again. You've always done that, even if no one gives you enough credit." He patted my hand and gave me a small smile.

I felt as if I was going to cry at his kind, and somewhat uncharacteristic, words. Yes, Noah has grown a lot since sophomore year, but I felt as if I should pinch myself because this seemed pretty unbelievable. "Wow, Noah. Thanks. You're going to do great things; I just know it, but you have to know it too. You passed high school because you worked hard; just keep working hard and stop listening to the voice in your head saying you can't. You can, Noah."

Noah gave me a shy and embarrassed smile as I leaned in to hug him. He needed to hear those words because he has been told his whole life he would never amount to anything except a Lima Loser, but he could be so much more.

"Okay, okay. Enough of this sappy shit. We're graduating, not dying. You'll be seeing me more than you'll ever want to, I swear 'cause Finn promised that you guys would name your first born after me, so I'll have to visit the little dude."

"Are you serious?! That is not happening! We are not naming are child after you, Noah. Why don't you just name your own son that? You know, Noah Jr.?"

"Impossible." He said simply, but elaborated when I looked at him confusedly. "I got snipped after Beth. There's only room for one Puckerman kid in this world." He spoke so casually about the fact that he would never have kids, so I smacked him on the back of the head.

"Noah! Are you serious?! Why in the world would you do that? What about when you get married and you want kids with your wife?" My voice rising at each word I spoke.

"Relax, Berry. I don't want to have any kids and I'm not planning on ever getting married. There is no woman who can tame the Puckasuarus. Why the hell are you getting so crazy about this?"

"I don't know. I guess I just pictured our kids playing with each other; being best friends like you and Finn…I know it's stupid, but I never had that growing up—a friend—and I just thought your kids would be an automatic friend." I flashed him a small smile. "But, I suppose you could just be awesome uncle Noah who gets them into all kinds of trouble."

He laughed loudly and shook my hand. "Deal." As we were shaking on it, Finn came back over with a big smile on his face and a bottle of water. I smiled back and gave him a kiss as he pulled me closer to him.

"Did I miss something here?" He asked looking between Noah and I, still smirking.

I was snuggled really closely to his body, my head in the crook of his neck, but pulled away from him as he asked this question. I placed a stern expression on my face and looked him in the eyes. "Did you know Noah got a vasectomy?"

He looked over at a laughing Noah and then nervously over to me. "I…uh..yes." He finally revealed. "I took him to get it done. Remember when I said I had to take him to get his wisdom teeth taken out?"

My mouth opened wide at the memory a couple of months ago. "Are you serious? Well let me tell you, Mister, If you ever get a vasectomy without my knowledge, you will never get to test out your re-worked equipment on me ever again."

Finn looked scared, and Noah was cracking up until I finally gave him a hard glare.

"Well, as much fun as this has been, I think I'll go home now. See you two tomorrow at school. And Berry, don't kill Finn. I'd kind of like my bro to be with me at graduation." He smirked once more and went towards the house to leave for the night.

I turned my face back to Finn and he was watching Noah leave, probably wishing he could catch a ride out of here. "Rach, babe, I'm so sorry-"

I cut him off with a kiss and positioned my body over his so I was now straddling him on the hammock. "I'm not really mad, Finn, just a little sad and disappointed in Noah. But never do that, okay? I want lots of little Finns running around when we are older and I've won my Tony. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Rach. I would never do that to you; I need my tiny Rachel babies. I can't imagine not having kids with you." He kissed my hair and we continued to sit out side in silence for a little bit longer until it was close to my curfew. We said our goodbyes and went our separate ways, knowing we would see each other tomorrow at school. Our last Monday as high school students…so unreal.

* * *

I woke up at my normal time—6 AM—and did my elliptical workout before getting in the shower. I now stood in front of my closest, searching for the perfect summer dress to wear today. Once I finally selected a pale pink dress, I brushed my long, and loosely braided it to the side. I glanced at the clock, and almost let out a curse word—I never curse—because I was going to be late if I didn't leave now. I skipped breakfast, much to my fathers' worry, and ran to my little white mini cooper and drove off to school for my last Monday.

The day was going slowly, and I was cutting it so close that I didn't even get to see Finn this morning. Of course I texted him, but it wasn't the same as a good morning kiss by our lockers that we usually exchanged. Right now, it was third period—biology—and I was sitting next to Quinn and Santana while we "watched" some movie. I mean, it was the last week of classes so of course none of us were going to listen to what the annoying scientist was talking about on the projector. I was madly texting Kurt (who was at a dentist appointment), Santana was texting Brittany, and Quinn was painting her nails (which I have no idea how she didn't get busted for since it the smell was intoxicating).

I don't know how to explain my relationship with the two girls who used to be my enemies. But I think we would all consider each other friends at this point. We didn't usually hang out just the three of us, but if we were put together, we got along and actually had fun. Like now, Santana was passing notes to Quinn and I with the most outrageous sexual jokes I've ever heard. I think she rather enjoyed my surprised expression because she was desperately trying to cover her snicker at my wide eyes and flushed cheeks.

The bell rang, and everyone got up to leave for the assembly that was mandatory for all juniors and seniors. I have no idea what it was about but I think I heard a rumor that it was about how to deal with growing up or something stupid like that. I was really not looking forward to attending, plus I didn't have time this morning for breakfast of my usual restroom break so I was dying of both hunger and the need to pee.

I veered off from the girls, in the direction of the women's restrooms, when I heard Santana's voice call after me.

"Yo, Berry! Where are you going? Gym's this way!"

"I have to go to the bathroom. Save me a seat?"I asked as she and Quinn neared my spot in the hallway.

"We'll just go with. Anything to stall having to hear about how our bodies are changing and we may get some urges in college and shit. We learned that in like kindergarten." She rolled her eyes, but I couldn't tell if she was serious or not. She laughed at my expression. "Haha Berry, I'm just kidding…I didn't learn about sex until 1st grade. I was a very curious and sneaky girl, and caught my parents on multiple occasions." She smiled at Quinn and I as we pushed our way into the empty bathroom.

"That had to leave a few scars." Quinn replied as she set her bag down and hoisted herself up on the edge of the sink to sit.

"Oh believe me, it did. Why the fuck do you think I am such a sexual women? Years of learning and practice." She was smirking at her reflection in the mirror and getting her make-up bag out to touch up her eyebrows.

I flushed the toilet, washed my hands, and then dug in my own bag for a protein bar I shoved in there earlier. "You guys can go. I didn't have time for breakfast this morning and I'm starving." I expected them to get up and leave, but the just shrugged and continued to stay with me. They were discussing some of the more nasty of the jokes that Santana had written, when I thought of an idea.

"Okay, so this is kind of weird, but I could use some help…of the sexual variety." As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I felt their surprised stares and my cheeks go up in flames. "I..uh never mind. That was a stupid idea." I turned away from them, mortified, when I felt Santana grab my shoulder and whip me around so I was facing them.

"Are you serious? You can't just say that and then say never mind! Now we are dying to know what it is. Come on, spill the details!" Her eyes were sparkling and Quinn looked just as intrigued.

"It's, um, please don't make fun of me." I pleaded and looked at them earnestly. I really did want their help, but I was still a little paranoid that they would use this against me.

Quinn looked at me like she knew what I was thinking and shook her head lightly. "Rachel, we promise to help, and not make fun. Even though we have all done things we are not proud of to one another, we have grown and changed, and I consider you a true friend. You should do the same." She smiled encouragingly.

Santana nodded and added, "I'm sorry for everything I put you through…I don't think I've really said that, but I am. I think you're kind of cool to hang out with and talk to; you make everything way funnier and entertaining, that's for sure. Let's just forget the past and start anew. So, tell what your problem is. I am the queen of all thing sex and kinky fuckery."

I laughed a bit at her crude language—which reminded me so much of Noah—and prepared myself for asking them some advice.

"Okay so as you know, Finn and I are sexually active-"

"Fucking. But go on." Santana said as she interrupted me and then signaled my to continue.

"Uh, yes, Finn and I are...f-fucking." I whispered and stuttered on the F word and they both giggled at my use of it. "It's really, really amazing, but I thought I would surprise him and do something a little different, you know, in bed…" I left the end of the thought hanging, and they both reacted completely opposite than I expected they would. Instead of bursting out laughing, they both nodded their heads as if they understood. It was that moment that I really felt a bond to these girls.

I really loved the other glee girls, but it was just that they were really very helpful or qualified in this situation. Tina and Mike were kind of boring and didn't really have much of a sex life, which they were perfectly fine with, but I just couldn't understand why. Sex was the best, especially with Finn! Then there was Mercedes—she was still a virgin, so obviously she couldn't be of much help.

"Well, I probably won't be as big of a help to you in this situation since I've only had sex once and I basically just lied there while Puck got off." Anyone would have thought that Quinn would sound bitter when saying this, but she didn't. She laughed as she spoke and rolled her eyes at Puck's stupidity and inability to think of her needs as well. I think she was finally over the whole drama of the ordeal and was comfortable talking and joking about it. "Anyways, although I would love to hear Santana's lovely advice, I think I'll go get us some seats. Hurry up! Don't want you two getting a detention the last week of classes." She smiled as she walked out into the hallway.

Santana turned her attention back to her eyebrows, plucking away, while she answered my question. "Okay, first things first, you'll need some great lingerie. With your body, you could pull off anything, but I would go for the booty shorts and I nice lacy push-up bra, either in black or red. The for the actual fucking part, I would tell you to borrow one of my pornos, but I can't see you going for that?" She raised her thin eyebrow at me, as if asking me if I would be down to watch a porno. I shook my head quickly and she went on. "So, I'd say go out and get yourself Cosmo. The newest edition has a whole article about "101 Ways to Reach New Orgasmic Highs", and I think that would be perfect. If you have any questions about logistics, just call me up and I'll talk you through it. Last thing…you have to be confident, Berry. You need to realize that you are a hot piece of ass and Finn is a lucky bastard that he gets to stick his little Finn in your tight pussy, got it? You need to tell him exactly how you like it. Take charge, Berry!"

I blushed again at her crass language, but agreed with her. "I think I can do that. Thanks." I approached her and slowly held up my arms. "I'm going to hug you now." She let out a deep breath in annoyance at first, but then I felt her arms wrapped around me just the slightest bit, and smiled to myself.

Just as I was about to pull back, I heard a loud shot ring out, followed by a steady and repetitive popping noise. What the hell was that?

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**Hope you enjoyed it! It is about to get intense. Please review! **


	2. Pumped Up Kicks

**Sensitive and serious content in this chapter. Major tragedy, so please be aware. **

**I do not own Glee. Chapter title from the song of the same name, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster the People**

* * *

**Finn:**

Minutes prior…

I was in the locker room getting changed with Sam and Puck after showering. We were all taking our time so we didn't have to get to the stupid assembly any earlier than we had to.

"Man, I don't want to go to this fucking thing. We are leaving here in three days; we don't need to hear this shit." Puck said annoyed as he puled his shirt over his head

"I know! I mean, what the hell are they going to tell me about my body that I don't already know? We are juniors and seniors. If we don't know by now, we are in big trouble." Sam said as we walked out into the gym again where the talk would take place. We could stall no longer, so we went over to the seats the other gleeks were saving for us. We were on the lowest bleacher, closest to the door so we could get out of there as soon as it was over.

I looked around me and noticed that Rachel was here yet. "Does anyone know where Rachel is?" I asked curiously. I hadn't seen her all morning and I missed her. I know Puck would joke and say I was so whipped and pathetic, but I love her and I hate going an entire morning without seeing her.

Tina shook her head, saying she had no clue, but Brittany piped up. "Santana texted me and said that she, Quinn, and Rachel went to the bathroom after biology, but they will be here soon."

"Oh, okay. Thanks Brit." I saved the spot next to me for Rachel, and turned my attention towards Principle Figgens who was stepping up to the podium.

"Hello, students. Thank you for joining us today-"

"Like we had a choice." Artie whispered under his breath and we chuckled, earning us a menacing glare from Sue.

I tuned out what Figgens was saying, letting my eyes wander around the gym at all of the banners. My eyes fell on the football state championship banner, and I smiled as I remember the game. I missed football a lot and I kind of wish I would have tried to play in college. I'm sure there was some place in New York that would have had me, but I guess that ship has sailed. I'll have my girl and that's all that really matters.

My eyes continued to explore the gym, and I noticed that one of the emergency exits was propped open slightly with something—it looked like a shoe and article of clothing. It caught my attention because during gym class it hadn't been cracked like it was now, and it was always closed for security reasons. Come to think of it, the last time I had seen it opened was when we had that Britney Spears sex riot junior year and everyone stampeded out.

I was just thinking back to how hot Rachel looked in her schoolgirl outfit, when I was interrupted my a loud clang and a couple of surprised screams. From this point on, everything happened so fast. Once minute I was thinking about Rachel, and the next minute, a figure was crashing through the door loudly. Everyone looked in his direction, and that's when I noticed what he was holding. As soon as I saw the large, automatic machine gun in his hand, he lifted it and I heard the loud pops that came out of it. He was on the opposite side of the room, but he was walking fast and aimed the gun into the bleachers, going back and forth to ensure he would get every inch of the crowd.

"Run! Get out of here!" I heard Mr. Schue yell out just before seeing him fall to the ground and blood splatter from his chest to the ground. All of the students that were able did as we were told, and started to sprint towards the door away from the shooter. We were the nearest the door, so we all ran towards the door that led out to the hallway, however, as we were running, Sam—who was pushing Artie—went down. Without skipping a beat, Puck scooped Sam off of the ground and threw him over his shoulder while I ran to wheel Artie out after him. I peaked behind me briefly, and saw that Mike was following with Tina in his arms, but couldn't see any of my other friends following. I wanted to go back and help them, but I could leave Artie and the gunman was walking swiftly after the crowd of students running towards the door.

There were some many kids running with us, but the panic caused great chaos and everyone was just getting out of there without thinking. Most of them ran right past the classrooms, but I knew our best chance would be to get inside and lock the door rather than run around in the halls. The gunman was sure to walk the halls and kill anyone who was still lingering…

"Get to a classroom, Puck!" I yelled, knowing he wouldn't be able to run very far with Sam's weight holding him down. He ran into an English classroom, and once Mike was safely inside with Tina, we closed and locked the door and then turned out the lights.

"Hey, help me push some tables up against the door!" I shouted at this guy who had come in with us during the panic. I recognized him from one of my classes and I think he was on the swim team as well. We worked quickly and soon, the door was blocked off and we sat on the floor against the far wall.

Now that our adrenalin had worn off, I think we finally realized the seriousness of our situation. We were trapped in a school with a gunman who clearly wants to kill and injure as many as possible. I felt like a nightmare or something you read about, but never imagine it could ever happen to you.

Once this initial shock wore off, I immediately crawled over to Artie to check him over while Puck looked at Sam and Mike at Tina. As soon as I got a good look at Artie I knew it was bad. The bullet had gone through the chair, hit him in the back and came out of his stomach. He was bleeding so much, and I knew the pool of blood that was continuously getting larger meant he didn't have much time left before he lost too much blood. His eyes were opening and closing, as if he were coming in and out of consciousness, so I tried to talk to him because I didn't want his last memories to be of the horrific shooting.

"Artie, can you hear me?" I got up closer to his face, and saw his blue eyes focus on me.

"Yeah." He breathed out weakly. I didn't really know what else to say so I asked him how he was feeling (I know, stupid question.)

"How are you, man? Are you in a lot of pain?" I held onto his hand, expecting him to squeeze and tell me of course he was in pain, but he surprised me.

He smiled. "No, Finn, I'm paralyzed. I can't feel anything, but looking at your face, I know I'm not doing very well."

I felt bad that my face was giving away how scared I was by his injury, but I couldn't help it and I didn't want to lie. "It's pretty mad, buddy…I- I don't know what to do." I said sadly.

This time he did squeeze my hand, but it was to reassure me, which I found crazy. "Thanks Finn. You know, for getting me out of there. I wouldn't want the last thing I saw to be that sweaty, smelly gym." He was still smiling as he spoke these words, and I wanted to cry at how tragic and disgusting this whole situation was, but I wanted him to have nice memories of the end.

"No problem, man. I'm just sorry you have to look at my face. I'm sure you'd much prefer a hot girl or something." I smirked at him and he attempted to chuckle at my bad joke, but it came out more as a strangled cough. Blood began to leak out of his mouth and I wiped it away before it traveled too far down his neck and on to his white oxford button down.

"Yeah, you're right, a girl would have been nice, but you're not too bad, Finn. You have nice eyes. Plus, you'll just have to do…" At his last words, his eyes lids went down slowly and I saw his chest stop rising and falling.

"Artie! Come on. Just hang in there, man." I said this in a whisper, so as to not draw attention to the room, but I couldn't help it. My friend just died in my arms. I sat there for a millisecond before realizing Sam and Tina had been hit too. As much as I wanted to stay and hold Artie, I knew there was nothing I could do now. I needed to try and help the others whi had a chance of survival.

I crawled over to Puck, and saw that Sam was awake, but bleeding and grimacing in pain. He had blood soaking through his white t-shirt from his chest, and although it was less blood than Artie, I could tell he was in bad shape as well.

Puck removed his shirt and pressed it to the wound to try and stop the bleeding, but he was just bleeding through that too.

"Sam, dude, just stay with us. The police and ambulances will be here soon. You just have to wait for them to take you to the hospital and everything will be fine." I think he was saying this reassure himself just as much as he was saying it for Sam.

"Yeah, okay. No problem." Sam said softly and he began to answer Puck's questions about who were the hottest girls in glee club. He was just trying to keep him conscious and breathing by any means necessary, and the outrageous questions were helping.

I decided to go and check on Mike and Tina, but when I got to where they were situated, Mike had his face buried into Tina's neck, and his whole body was shaking. I touched his arm gently, and he instantly picked his tear-strained face up to meet mine. He simply shook his head and looked back down at Tina. I was shocked to see the bullet hole in her head and her eyes still opened. Only a thin line of blood trialed down her forehead, and it was the most terrible thing I had seen thus far, and I had seen a lot of terrible things in the last five minutes. I reached over and gently shut her eyes for her, and Mike silently thanked me for doing something he couldn't do. Doing that really solidified the fact that she was gone.

"She died instantly." He said quietly to me, and I nodded my head agreeing with him, knowing it would make him feel a tiny bit better to know that she didn't suffer.

As I looked at the way he was staring at Tina, I was reminded of my own girlfriend, and instantly began to panic. Oh God…Rachel has to be alright. I can't lose her; I've barely even had her. She was in the restroom, maybe in the halls, when the attack began, so she was most likely in a lot of danger. I turned away from Mike and Tina, and went to the door to begin moving the items away from the door.

"What the fuck are you doing Finn! Are you fucking crazy?!" Puck yelled in a whisper.

"I have to go get Rachel. I can't stay in here while she's out there…with him." I felt my eyes get glassy but willed the tears to stay away. I couldn't go after her if I wasn't thinking straight. It wouldn't be helpful for her or myself.

Puck looked down at Sam, and then over at Mike and the other guy in here with us. "Hey" he said as he looked at the guy we didn't know, "can you stay and help Mike with Sam?" The guy, Roger he said his name was, nodded and replaced Puck's pressure on the wound with his own.

Mike shifted so he was closer to Sam and laid Tina down beside him, knowing that just like Artie, she was lost to the world, but that Sam was alive and needed help to stay that way.

Puck got up and started to help me move the desks out of the way. "Puck, I can't ask you to do this. Just stay here. Please" I pleaded with him to stay. I didn't want to get him killed because of my stupidity.

"You're not asking. I'm doing this because I love Berry. She's the only person who's believed in me, and thought I was good enough to achieve something more in life. She's like my sister, dude; I cannot leave her out there, and I am not let you go alone. Let's go." I nodded and told the others to block the door when we left and not to open it for anyone unless they are the police.

We peek out of the doorway and saw that the hallway was empty—well empty of living, breathing people. There were five bodies lying on the tile floor of the hallway, and as much as I didn't want to, I had to look at each of the faces to make sure it wasn't anyone I knew. We kept walking down the hall, quietly and carefully, hoping beyond hope, that we would not run into the shooter.

* * *

**Rachel:**

Santana and I were sitting in the last stall and were huddled together. I was quietly sobbing into her shoulder and she was shaking uncontrollably in fear. We could hear screams and shots in the hallway, and each time we heard footsteps pass by the entrance, we closed our eyes tightly and waited for the shooter to come in and kill us. Santana was continuously chanting, "We're gonna die, we're gonna die" over and over and it was not helping our already terrified minds to think that negatively.

I tried to clear my head and block out her talking in order to think of a way out of here and into safety. The bathroom door didn't have a lock on it, so we were extremely vulnerable just sitting here. When the noises in the hall seemed to disappear and everything was silent, and I knew we had to take advantage and get out of the bathroom—at least to a classroom that was lockable.

"Santana, we need to get out of here. It's not safe in here, and this might be our only chance to escape. I know this sucks but I don't want to be a sitting duck and just let him get us. We have to at least try and get out." As I said this, Santana's eyes got big, but she nodded knowing it was our only hope of getting out alive. Soon, the shooter would start looking in any unlocked rooms, and we would be killed.

We both got up quietly and slowly made our way to the door. I stuck my ear against the door to listen for any sounds, but heard nothing. I opened the door as gently as I could and stepped out into the hall with Santana on my heels. The hallway was completely empty, and it looked and sounded like a ghost town, that's how eerily quiet and deserted it was.

We began to walk down the hall towards the main entrance of the school and try the doors of the classrooms we past, but they were all locked and know was going to let us in when the shooter was still lose. Suddenly, I began to hear sirens in the distance, but could tell they were still minutes away. We turned the corner and I sighed in relief when I saw the sunlight streaming through the door about 35 feet away, signaling our escape. However, once my eyes wandered around the scene of the hallway in front of me, I doubled over and almost puked at the sight. There were so many bodies, smeared with blood and riddled with bullet holes, motionless and dead on the tile floor. As much as I wanted to weep and cry for all of my lost classmates, I also knew that we were still in grave danger and needed to get out.

We crept through the maze of dead bodies, desperately trying to block out the fact that they were dead classmates on the floor as we walked. We were about halfway down the hall when I heard a gasp behind me. My heart stopped and I very slowly turned around to see Santana looking down at a girl's body with her mouth wide open.

"Santana?" I asked gently and softly, so as to not alert the gunman. She didn't look up at me, but instead bent down, never taking her eyes off of the girl. I walked back over and crouched next to her to see what made her stop when we were so close to getting out of here. That's when I realized that the girl was blonde and her white dress was covered in blood. "Quinn." I whispered, and it wasn't a question; I knew it was her. I had only seen her a couple of minutes prior in the very same dress.

We gently turned her over and saw that she had been hit in the shoulder and leg, but still had a weak pulse. I sat down and placed her head in my lap while Santana stood to take off her belt and wrap it around her thigh to try and stop the bleeding. The movement woke Quinn up, and I saw her green eyes looking up at me in recognition and fear.

"Rachel," She breathed heavily, "you guys need to get out of here. Please, save yourselves. Please." She said weakly, and attempted to push me away with no avail.

"No Quinn, we are going to get you out of here. Just stay awake, and try to be as quiet as you can while we move you." I nodded at Santana and she lifted Quinn's legs while I lifted her torso. Quinn let out a pained cry, and I was sure it carried throughout the entire silent school. Santana and I looked at each other in panic, and began to walk faster towards the door.

Then, I heard my name being yelled through the halls and immediately knew it was Finn's voice coming from behind us. I turned my head and saw Puck and Finn jogging to us at the end of the hall about 20ft away. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and perked up a little at the sight of my fiancé. He was okay—as was Noah—and they were coming to help us get Quinn out of here. Finn, however, was not smiling. His face was screwed up in horror as he looked straight past me and both him and Noah slowed to a complete stop with their arms raised above their heads. I felt the pit of my stomach drop as I turned to see what they was staring at.

A young man, not much older than me, was standing directly in front of Santana, Quinn, and I with a smirk on his face. He had dark, shaggy hair covered in a red Mckinley High baseball cap, and a bulletproof vest protecting his torso. He raised his huge gun and, without second thought, fired a quick shot at Quinn, hitting her square in the head.

"Quinn!" I yelled, but I knew that I wouldn't get a response; she was gone. I looked back up at the gunman, and he was laughing. Laughing! I couldn't believe this evil man before me. I felt Puck and Finn's eyes on Santana and me, probably trying to figure out how to get us out of this mess.

I was full on crying at this point, as was Santana, which only added to the shooter's giddiness. It appeared that he was getting high off of all this killing and destruction of lives.

"Why are you doing this?" I managed to get out through my sobs. I was crumbling on the ground, but looked directly at the man's cold, beady eyes.

"Because I wanted to." He said simply and then I heard three consecutive shots ring out, and screams from every which way before everything faded to black…

* * *

**Finn:**

It was the worst moment of my entire life. The gunman held the gun at Rachel and uttered the words, "because I wanted to", and I knew what was coming next; he was going to kill her. Before I could react though, Puck moved towards the man, only making matters worse. The shooter quickly shot Rachel, then Puck, and then a third shot rang out, and I had no clue where it landed. I initially looked down at myself, checking for a wound, but saw nothing, next, I looked over at Santana who was looking just as stunned, but not hurt. However, it all made sense when I saw the shooter lying on his stomach on the floor, and a swat and medical team came rushing in.

My senses having fully recovered, I realized that my fiancé and best friend had been shot. I sprinted the short distance to where they were, but couldn't get too close because the EMTs were trying to transport them to stretchers to take them to the hospitals.

Within second, they were wheeling both Rachel and Puck towards the vehicles, and the rest of the doctors were running through the hallways to check for pulses on the remaining students lying on the tile. I jumped in to the one with Rachel, and rode to Lima General in a panic. She was profusely bleeding from her lower abdomen, and the doctors seemed to be having trouble locating a pulse.

"Hold on Rachel, we're almost there." I whispered into her ear, even though she was unconscious and couldn't hear me.

As soon as we got to the hospital, more doctors and nurses rushed to the vehicles and assisted with the injured students that were being brought in in drones. I was ushered into a room and told that an update for my friends would be given as soon as possible. I sat down and placed my head in my hands and just cried for all of my friends who were hurt or dead. I felt a vibration in my jean pocket, and when I picked it up, I saw my mother's faces light up the screen.

"Mom." I breathed out shakily, and I could hear her sobbing over the line.

"Finn! Oh God baby, are you okay?"

"I..I'm okay, but mom…" I couldn't even finish because it was just too horrible to say what I saw out loud.

"It's going to be alright, sweetie. Where are you?"

I told her I was at the hospital waiting for Rachel and Puck, and she said she would call their parents and come over as soon as she could. I had lost Santana in the mess in the hallway, and had just received a text from her saying she was on her way. She couldn't find any of our other friends once she was ushered out of the school by the police, and we were hoping they would be here too.

It was absolute chaos in the waiting room—families weeping for loved ones and hoping for good news, but most of the news that was coming out was not. The police had set up head quarters in the waiting area, where they had a long list of the names of the deceased and also of those in the care of the hospital. It was absolutely painful and heartbreaking to watch families go up and ask about their loved one, and walk away with tears streaming down their face and devastation written all over their face.

"Attention everyone!" An older man in a police uniform shouted over the hysterics in the waiting room. "I am Captain Price of the Lima Police Department. I just want to extend my condolences to you all at this time. This was such a tragic and senseless act of violence, and we are doing everything we can to bring justice to this situation." I saw him shake his head in sadness and knew he was at a loss of words as to how to even properly describe this terrible shooting. "We are going to be moving the list with the names of students and their status out into the lobby, so if please everyone who is not currently waiting for someone in surgery could leave this waiting room, and go out there, that would be very helpful. Thank you all for your corporation during this trying time." He bowed his head, and the massive amounts of people left the waiting room, leaving only me and some hospital and police personel.

Just then, I saw Santana, my mom, Burt, and Kurt walking towards me with seriously devistated expressions on their faces. My mother immediately engulfed me into a hug and let out some tears, while the others waited their turns.

"Finn…" Santana said as she pulled back from the hug, and I knew what ever she had to say was bad. She was shaking hard and pulling Kurt closer to her in comfort, and he was also sobbing uncontrollably. "They're…they're all dead." At her last words, her and Kurt crumbled down to the ground.

I just looked at them, and then up to my parents in confusion. That couldn't be true. "What? I don't understand…I-I saw Mike and Sam." I couldn't talk anymore; my mouth was dry and my head was spinning.

My mother led me to a chair and sat me down while Burt got Kurt and Santana up and in a chair as well. "Finn," my mother said sadly "Mike is okay, but everyone who was shot needed immediate medical attention…they all bled out before the police and paramedics arrived. Puck and Rachel are the only two who were shot who even made it to the hospital…"

"Fuck. No, no, no, no…" I buried my head into my mother's neck and let myself finally feel the emotions of the day.

I was interrupted from my crying by a clearing of a throat. I looked up and saw a man in a white coat looking at us solemnly. "Excuse me, I was told you were waiting for Mr. Noah Puckerman and Miss. Rachel Berry?"

"Uh, yeah. Yes we are. How are they? Are they okay?" I asked as I wiped the tears from my face.

"I'm Dr. Swartz.' He extended his hand to all of us to shake. "Miss Berry is currently in surgery to remove the bullet from her abdomen, and although she suffered severe bleeding, we are hopeful that she will make it through this. The fact that she was rushed here so soon after her injury is what saved her life. Had she waited any longer, she would have suffered the same fate as her classmates. Uh, unfortunately, Mr. Puckerman's injuries were far more severe. He was shot in the chest and it went straight through his heart. We did everything we could to repair it, but the damage was irreversible. I am so sorry."

He did not need to say the actual words—we understood—Puck was gone, just like so many of our other friends. I just sat there, unmoving and unresponsive. I was all cried out at the moment and was currently going through shock. All of my friends, save for Kurt, Santana, and hopefully Rachel, was dead. Artie, Sam, Quinn, Brittany, Blaine, Tina, Mercedes, Sugar, Mr. Schue, coach Beiste, and countless other kids and teachers I went to school with everyday for the past four years. How does one move on from something like this?

* * *

**I know that this is a very heavy subject, but please remember that this is just a story. So although I killed off a lot of characters, and broke up two major couples, it was done for conflict, drama, entertainment. I love all the Glee characters, but as this is a Finchel story, I am choosing to focus on them (and Hummelberry and Pezberry). Hopefully you enjoyed it, even though it's sad. Thanks for reading!**


	3. I Miss You

**I do not own glee. Chapter title from "I Miss You" by Miley Cyrus**

* * *

It has been a month since the shooting, and life in Lima was miserable. It was still all over the local, national, and world news because it has gone down as the most deadly school shooting in history. Since it took place during a school assembly with almost the entire upper class student body crammed into the bleachers, the death toll was absolutely astounding and sickening. Not to mention he went through the hallways after and shot everyone he could.

In all, Pete DiAmoto—the gunman—had shot and killed 111 students and teachers, and wounded one. According to reports, he had graduated from McKinley two years prior, and was working at the local gas station as a clerk. He was unhappy in his life, and believed if he couldn't get out of Lima after high school, no one deserved to. Clearly he was sick in the head, and I was glad he was dead. I never thought I would wish someone dead, but I think I had the right in this case. The shot that the police fired in the hallway was fatal, and I could care less about his lost life. He was a murderer; he ruined so many lives simply because he was jealous that students were working hard and trying to become something more, while he did nothing to change his own situation in life.

Rachel was the only one wounded who made it. She was out of the hospital and almost fully healed by now. I visited her everyday, and lay in bed with her and talked and watched movies, trying to heal ourselves mentally. We were just buying our time before we could get out of Lima and away from the tragic memories here.

"Hey Finn." Hiram greeted me as he opened the door. They were used to me coming over every morning, and were thankful Rachel had someone during the day while they went to work. I went directly up the stairs to her bedroom, and found her looking the mirror trying to brush her hair. She was clearly wincing in pain because she had to stretch her arm over her head and her small wound wasn't completely healed yet.

I walked over and silently took the brush from her hands and she just huffed and went to the bed to sit. "I don't know why you keep trying to brush your hair by yourself. You're going to rip your stitches again, and I really don't want to take you to the ER again." I said it jokingly, but she knew I was serious. Neither of us ever wanted to step foot in that place again.

"I know, I'm sorry. I just keep thinking I'll be able to do it without it hurting, and I don't want to make you have to brush my hair everyday." She said sulking and crossing her arms over her chest. I slowly ran the brush through her long, straight, chocolate colored hair, trying to be careful not to pull too hard.

I laughed lightly at her dramatics. "Well, I could just buzz it all off and we wouldn't have to worry about it, now would we?" She gave me a death glare, and I just smiled back at her and continued to run the brush through her hair until it was soft and tangle free.

"Thanks Finn." She said shyly as she turned to look at me. I knew she hated asking for help, but she needed it sometimes; we all needed it sometimes.

We snuggled together, me being mindful of her stitches, and watched _Brave_, the animated movie. We were very particular with the movie we picked because we didn't want to laugh or cry(feel anything, really), so we basically just watched kids movies, musicals, or really, really bad movies.

I peeked down at her and frowned unconsciously. I was reminded of why I had really come over today. She saw my expression change and sat up slowly to look me in the eyes worriedly.

"What's wrong Finn?"

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, preparing myself for what I was about to say. The shooting had really affected me and changed my plans, and I knew I owed it to Rachel to let her in on these since she was my fiancé.

"Um, well I went over to Puck's a couple of weeks ago to help his mom clean his room out—she just couldn't bring herself do it—and I found something…he had this plan and list of what he was going to do after graduation. And, Rach, this whole thing has made me realized that I have things that I want to do too. I don't want to regret anything…so I-I've decided that New York is not the right place for me." I said the words I've dreaded saying to her for the past few weeks, and looked at her for a reaction. She didn't give anything away, but just sat there, staring at me for a while.

Finally, she blinked and let out a single tear. "W-what? What do you mean? We had a plan…" she looked panicked and confused, and I hated knowing that I did that to her, but I had to be true to myself. It would be better for her in the long run too.

"You had a plan; I was just along for the ride. I love you so much, Rachel. I just…Puck's list reminded me that I have so much left that I want to do before it's too late. New York was never my dream; it was always yours. I think I need to do this for myself so I wont resent or, like, hate you." She let out a strangled sob at the word 'hate', but I continued. "I am going to California, Rach. I applied to UC Santa Barbara right after the shooting—they have rolling admissions—and got accepted. My goal is to complete as much as I can off of Puck's list, and do the things he will never be able to do. Hopefully, I'll find my own goals and dreams along the way. I still love you." I reached forward to touch her hand, but she pulled it back quickly.

"I..I don't even know what to say…are you b-breaking up with me? Do you not love me anymore? Did you ever?" She was standing up at this point and was pacing back and forth and yelling.

"Of course I loved you! I just can't live my life for you!" I was full on shouting at this point, letting my frustration and anger at the whole situation come out. I hadn't even realized what I said until she stilled and her face completely changed.

"Loved?" she shook her head and walked to open her bedroom door. "Please, Finn, I'd like you to leave." She wouldn't look me in the eyes as she spoke, so I jdidnt know what else to do but walk out and never look back.

I felt nothing as I drove home—I was numb—and told my parents and Kurt my plan to move to California. They were all very supportive of my decision, although I could tell Kurt was torn. Rachel was his absolute best friend in the world, and was the one getting him through his devastation. He didn't want to see her so sad as well. But I needed to do what was best for myself, and I knew he respected that at least.

* * *

1 month later…

I have been in California for three weeks. I left as soon as I could, needing to get out of Lima and away from the bad memories. It was sad that I had eighteen years of wonderful memories and just one day could ruin them all. I promised my mother that I would call and Skype as often as possible, and she promised that they were planning a trip to California soon. They had decided to move to DC permanently, knowing that Kurt and I would never want to visit them if they remained in Lima.

I have talked to Kurt once since leaving, and found out that he, Rachel, and Santana had moved to New York early with the same idea as me. I had yet to talk to Rachel, but Kurt told me she needed space to re-learn how to live without me and it was best to disappear for a while and move on. So that's what I did; I started over in California. The only things I brought with me were my lap top, iphone, a small suitcase of clothing, and the leather bound book containing Puck's to do. Everything else I purchased here with the money I made at the tire shop and a small allowance I receive once a month from my mom and Burt.

I managed to get into summer campus housing—which is cheap—and was rooming with a kid named JJ from Rhode Island. He had white-blonde hair that was buzzed pretty short, and was about four inches shorter than me. He was recruited to play on the football team here at UC Santa Barbara as a wide receiver and came early to practice with the coaching staff all summer so he could earn a starting spot. He was really cool, and I knew we would get along well—we had already asked Resident Life if we could room together during the school year.

He has caught me reading Puck's book multiple times, so I finally broke down and told him the brief version of my life's story. He was really understanding about it all—he had lost his cousin in a drunk driving accident two years ago—and told me he would help me achieve as many goals on the list as possible. So far, in the little time I've been here, three items had been crossed out.

Move your ass to California

Get accepted into a college, any college will do—beg, plead, bribe, whatever it takes, you are getting into fuckin' college!

Get platered at a college party

Completing that last one was a pretty crazy experience. JJ took me to the football house where a few upper classmen were living over the summer, and to say it was different from a McKinley party was an understatement. Beer was flowing freely since a lot of them were 21, and the girls were dressed in next to nothing. I saw people practically having sex on the couches and smoking pot on the dance floor. I was overwhelmed at first—feeling way out of my element—but once JJ introduced me to a few of the guys, I loosened up. I kept asking myself, "what would Puck do? How would he act?" Suffice to say, I crossed it off the list the next day since I got totally shitfaced and woke up on the lawn only wearing my boxers and one sock.

Although a lot of the goals on the list were crazy and stupid, there were also a lot that weren't. For every reckless task, I decided to do a task that will take me towards my own goals and dreams, like the one I'm focusing on right now: "Find a profession that you've dreamed of doing, but no one ever thought you were smart enough" and next to it he had written "FBI agent". I thought it was a pretty cool goal and I could have totally seen Puck killing it as an FBI agent. My only problem was I had no idea what I wanted to be.

I told Rachel I wanted to be an actor, but now that I really think of it, that's not my dream job at all. I don't know what I was thinking, really. I have never acted in my life, except for that failed Rocky Horror show. I tried to think back to when I was younger and I had every opportunity open to me in the world. Doing this made me think of when I would visit my mom at work after school and see everyone running around the hospital. People came in sick, but left healthy, and this just baffled me to no end. I wanted to help people like that, so I decided that I wanted to become a doctor. I know—big long shot for Finn Hudson—but if I work my ass off, I really think I can do it. Puck's tasks made me want to try harder and reach farther than I ever imaged possible for myself. Completing things off of this list made me feel closer to Puck and miss him just a fraction less.

When I went to my advisor—he had been really helpful when I moved here even though it was summer—he suggested that I apply for a position with the medical staff for one of the sports teams here at the college. He said that most students who wanted to go into the medical field usually started by learning the basics of first aid, preventative care, and treating injuries. So, I did what he suggested and somehow managed to get a spot with Dr. Myers, the football team doctor. He wasn't very busy yet, as football season didn't start for another month and a half, but he was showing me the ropes and gave me simple assignments like filling ice buckets, taping ankles, and watching individual practices to make sure there were no injuries.

So, that's how I found myself sitting out in the scorching heat of the California summer, watching JJ run routes while the head football coach threw him passes. The coach was in his early forties, greying, and I could tell he was getting tired throwing pass after pass for the past hour.

"Alright, JJ, take five!" The coach shouted tiredly at JJ as he walked away to find shade and some fresh water.

JJ jogged over, breathing pretty heavily, and sat next to me. "Hey Hudson! Having fun?" He asked sarcastically. He knew I was miserable just sitting in this heat—at least he was having fun and playing football. I was simply baking in the sun as bored as can be. After about ten minutes, the coach was still wasn't back and I could tell JJ was getting antsy to start back up.

"Hudson, you said you played quarterback for your high school team, right?" He questioned with his eyebrow raised.

"Yes…" I replied.

"Think you still have some juice left in that arm to throw a few passes? I want to go over some of the plays I screwed up earlier."

I thought about it for a little bit, wondering if my boss would get pissed that I was throwing the ball around instead of watching for injuries.

"What the hell!" I found myself saying, and picked up the ball. You only live once, right?

I started out just throwing some simple, close range passes to get my arm warmed up and used to throwing again. It had been a long time since I actually passed the ball around, besides messing around with Puck, Mike, and Sam. I felt a pang of sadness when I thought of my friends. Sure, Mike was still here, but I hadn't seen him since the funerals, and I would never see my other two best friends again…

"Hey! Finn! Get your head back in the game, man!" JJ shouted at me from my right side. He was all set up on the line, ready for me to run the play. I thought through the play one more time, trying to remember it perfectly and then yelled "hike!"

JJ ran the pattern, which called for him to sprint and cut in quickly, and for me to release it into the air for a deep touchdown pass. I let it fly when I saw him cut and hoped I had enough power and precision on the pass. Thankfully, he caught it exactly where he was supposed to and jogged in for a touchdown. He started to do a little dance in the end zone and I couldn't help but crack up at how ridiculously dorky he looked.

"Excuse me," My head snapped up at the sound of the head coach's voice. Oh no, I thought, I was busted. "What's your name son?"

I gulped before relying. "Uh Finn. Finn Hudson, sir."

He eyed me up and down with a thoughtful expression on his face. "Do you realize you just threw a 65 yard pass, right? That's one of the hardest plays in the book, son." He was looking at me in awe and I simply shrugged my shoulders. I knew it was a pretty good pass, but I was nervous and shocked that he was this impressed with it.

"I'd like to see you throw another pattern." The coach said as he pulled out his playbook and showed me a couple plays.

After I successfully completed eight patterns, the coach—Coach King—smacked me on the back and asked if I would come out to practices with JJ everyday. He thought I had potential and could possibly offer me a scholarship and a spot on the team if he like what he saw after a couple of weeks. I was shocked that he really thought I was good enough to play college ball.

Apparently, this would only be the second season that UC Santa Barbara would have a team. I thought this was crazy—doesn't every school have a football team—but I guess not. He explained something called title nine that said that there had to be equal sports for males and female, so if they wanted football they either had to add another women's sport or get rid of a men's team. After the men's rugby team lost every game last season, they decided to cut that program and start up football. Because of the newness of the program, the coaches had trouble recruiting quality players, which is why they were in need of a good quarterback. They already had one who was a sophomore, but according to JJ, he was shit compared to me.

I agreed to try, knowing that not only would I have fun and meet new people, but also, the potential scholarship would make my tuition nearly free. If I was going to become a doctor, I needed to save as much money as I could for medical school.

* * *

August

**Rachel:**

I have been in New York for two months now, and I haven't spoken or seen Finn since he walked out of my house nearly three months ago. I go back and forth between wanting to talk to him, and never wanting to see his face again. I think that I'm still processing and coping with the shooting, and adding the fact that Finn left so suddenly only made things worse. I feel like I am in limbo right now; are we officially over or are we just taking a break? The words "breakup" were never spoken, but we are not acting like a couple either. I still wear my ring around my neck on chain, but I'm starting to think I'm being naïve and stupid. I honestly don't know what was going on or where we stood with each other and it's driving me insane.

"Rach! Earth to Rachel!" I heard Santana shout from her spot on the couch beside me. It was Thursday night, and we were watching a movie that I don't even know the name of. I tended to zone out and think about Finn when I wasn't actively doing something, which is why I have tried to keep myself as busy as possible. I got a job at an upscale bakery down the street and decided to take two summer courses at NYADA to get ahead of the game.

"Sorry." Said sheepishly, because it happened a lot when I was with the two of them. I am desperately trying to hide any sadness from Kurt and Santana, though, because I feel like I have no right to be sad when they have both lost the person they were closest to.

Kurt turned towards me while Santana stopped the movie. "I think we should talk." Kurt said looking between Santana and me with a grim expression. We haven't really talked much since the initial sob fest we had right after we moved in.

"Yeah, I think Hummel's right. It's like there is this huge elephant in the room and it is suffocating. Nothing is going to get better unless we air it all out and get it off of our chests. I'll start." She breathed out a long sigh and closed her eyes. "I miss our friends every single day, especially Brittany. We were best friends since freshman year and I made her drink all of my horrible, mandatory protein shakes. She was the first person I ever loved and who loved me back for me besides my family. She was so innocent and happy and I just miss her so much." She was crying softly now, but went on anyways with a strong resolve. "We were going our separate ways—growing up and away from each other—but I knew we would have remained best friends through it all. It helps to know that she didn't suffer and that the last text I sent her was 'I love you'." She gave us both a small smile, and wiped her tears off. "Okay, wow, that felt nice to get out. Who's next?"

I looked at Kurt and he nodded that he would go next. "So I'm probably going to be a mess, but I'll give it a try." Santana and I smiled encouragingly at him to go ahead. "Well, I guess I should start with the fact that I love and miss all of the people who died that day. I don't know what would possess someone to do something so evil; it makes me sick to think about it. I..I feel so guilty that I wasn't there that day. I was faking being sick so I didn't have to go to school, and now I don't know whether to be thankful or disgusted with my self." Blaine

"Kurt" Santana said cutting him off "never, ever feel guilty about not being there. We are all so happy that we knew at least one of us was safe." He nodded sadly and I patted his hand.

"Yeah, I know I shouldn't, but I wonder what would have happened to me if I had been you know? Anyways, I was pretending to be sick because…Blaine and I had broken up the previous night at the barbeque, and I was tired from crying and talking to him all night." Kurt paused when he saw our shocked faces and nodded his head as if to say, 'yes, we really did'.

"Oh God! Kurt, I'm so sorry! Why didn't you tell me?" I pulled him closer to me and felt tears prickling in my own eyes.

"Thank you, but I just wanted to think about it and process it for myself first. We went up to my room while you and Finn stayed out on the hammock, and just talked and talked about our futures. As we talked, I think we both realized we were not on the same page and we didn't want any of the same things. I wanted New York and Broadway and fashion, he wanted to backpack across the globe, writing songs, taking pictures, and living second by second. You know me, I'm more of a planner and like a stable future, and he wanted to be free and unconstrained. I asked him where he saw himself in ten years and he said he had no clue. He said maybe in the Himalaya Mountains, living with Tibetan monks and gaining spiritual understanding." He laughed at the memory and continued. "I told him where I saw myself, and we both realized that neither of us put the other in our dreams. We talked some more and came to the conclusion that we loved each other and learned so much about ourselves by being together, but we had learned all we needed to, and it was time to move on. It was mutual and although we both cried a lot, we knew it was what was best for both of us. I don't regret it, even after the shooting, but I wish I could have told him I loved him one more time. Even though we weren't going to be together, he was the one that taught me about love and being courageous in my lifestyle. I-I can't believe they are all gone…"

I hugged him closer, and Santana joined in so we were having a group hug on the couch. We remained like this for a long time before Kurt pulled away and looked at me.

"Diva, your turn. It really does feel good to get it all out."

I looked down, trying to compose my thoughts. "I hate that man who came in and killed so many of my friends, and that he took the people you two loved so much. I'm so sorry for you guys, and I wish I could do more to help you and make you feel whole again." I was staring between them sadly with tears in my eyes.

They each took my hand and Santana gave me a serious look. "Rachel, come on. Be honest with us and yourself. You were shot in that hallway…you are the only one that survived. I'm not saying this to intentionally hurt you, but you have to be feeling so much more, and it's not healthy to keep it inside. Just because we lost Blaine and Brittany doesn't mean you can't be hurting about this either. They were your best friends too, and you are the only one of us to be physically affected by this. So, please, talk to us."

I was full on crying by now, and I was shaking in their arms unable to talk. Finally, I got control over my body and took some deep breaths to calm myself. "I…I feel like I can't be sad because I didn't lose the person I loved…well that way. Finn is still alive, but he chose to leave me, and I think that is what hurts the most. The uncertainty of it all kills me and I don't want to bring my stupid problems up because they pale in comparison to your pain-"

"No, Sweetheart. Don't ever think that. All of us have an equal right to be sad, and you can't feel guilty about it." Santana rubbed my back soothingly, and I leaned in so my head was on her lap.

We sat around, talking about how we felt and getting any and all things off of our chests. When we completely and utterly exhausted from the crying and laughing, we fell asleep right where we were on the couch—cuddled together. Although it was hard and sad to relive some of those moments, I felt so much better that our feelings were exposed and we could be 100% honest with each other. This talk would only bond us ever closer than we already were, and made me appreciate their love and friendship even more.

* * *

The next day, I went to work and when I returned around 6:30, the apartment was empty. Kurt and Santana had yet to figure out exactly what they wanted to do with their lives, but got part time jobs in the mean time. Kurt was working at a small, vintage bookstore in a really hip neighborhood, and Santana worked at a tiny indie coffee shop. They both worked nights on Thursday's, meaning I got to have the place all to myself and watch all the crappy TV I wanted.

We are very fortunate that my fathers decided to buy a three bedroom apartment in the city as an investment property, and were allowing us to stay here rent-free. They figured that they would either sell it after we moved out or move in themselves when they retired and moved to New York permanently. They did, however, make it clear that we all needed to make our own money for food, utilities, and clothes, which we found extremely fair.

Just as I was about to sit down with a bowl of popcorn and watch Real Housewives of New Jersey, when I felt my phone vibrate on the couch. I looked down at the text and saw it was Mila from my acting summer class.

**Hey girlie! Come out with us tonight! 116 10****th**** Ave.! Get your ass down here now!**

I sighed, about to decline, when I realized I should probably get out of my funk and have some fun. These people were trying to be my friend and I kept shooting them down. Soon, they would stop asking and I wouldn't have any friends at NYADA.

**Ok. Be there soon!**

I ran to my room to get ready, and went through my closest about ten times before asking Santana if I could borrow one of her sexy dresses. I ended up wearing a skin-tight, red dress that created curves I didn't even know I had. I tried to recreate Santana's smoky eye and left the rest of my face bare of makeup. Before I knew it, I was out the door and heading to _Avenue _nightclub, unaware of the night that awaited me.

Three hours later…

"Wow Rachel! You are sooo funnn!" Mila shouted drunkenly over the loud crowd.

I smiled widely and threw my hands up in the air screaming along with the music. It felt so good to just let loose and have fun with friends. The shots had been coming continuously for the past two hours, and since it was my first time drinking liquor, I was really feeling it, throwing one back on after the other.

Somehow, I found myself in the corner, pushed against the wall by some guy I had just met. We were making out sloppily, and in the back of my mind, I knew I probably should be doing this with a total stranger, but it felt so good. Eventually, we got bored with each other and went separate ways though. I wandered over to the back of the club by the restrooms, and pulled out my phone. I was feeling really confident and courageous in the moment, and knew exactly who I wanted to talk to…I needed answers.


	4. But It's Over Now

**Attention: I have decided to write the remainder of the story from the point of view of an omniscient narrator rather than switch between Finn and Rachel. I have been really struggling to capture both of their reactions and feelings at the same time, and thought this would be the best solution. I hope this makes sense…**

**I do not own Glee. Title from "Take a Bow" by Rihanna**

* * *

Finn was lying on his tiny, twin-size bed, relaxing after a difficult practice when he heard his phone ringing. Usually, this wouldn't be strange since his mom was constantly calling to check up on him or JJ wanted to see if he would go out, but this was different. This was playing a special ring tone dedicated specifically to Rachel, and he hadn't heard it in months. Finn looked at the clock confusedly, because if he did the math correctly, that would make it nearly 2 AM in New York right now, and the Rachel he knew never stayed up that late.

Before he thought about it too much longer, he pressed accept and took a deep breath, preparing himself for hearing her voice again.

"Hello?" Finn answered in an apprehensible tone.

"Finn? Is that you?" Rachel was screaming into the phone and she sounded like she was in a really crowded place.

"Rach, I'm here." He responded. H had no clue what to say considering she was the one calling him.

"Oh gooood! I haven't talked to you in foreverrrr." She had clearly moved to a place that was less populated because Finn could actually hear her this time. Another thing that was apparent to him was the fact that she was wasted. He has seen Rachel wasted a total of two times: once at her house party junior year, and once when his parents were out of town and Kurt decided they needed to have a dinner party with him and Blaine. Needless to say, that got out of hand real quickly.

"Rachel, are you drunk?" He asked the question already knowing the answer, but wanted to hear her say it—she never like to admit to being drunk.

She giggled a little and hiccupped—yes definitely smashed. "Maybe…but that's not why I'm calling Finn! I got a bone to pick with you!" She sounded determined, and he almost laughed at how cute she must look with her face all scrunched up. Although it scared him when she got mad, she also looked adorably sexy while yelling, so he was okay with her dramtics.

"Ok…I'm listening." Finn replied carefully, not exactly knowing where she was going with this. What could he have possibly done from nearly 3,000 miles away?

"Are we still together?" Okay 'wow', he thought, getting right to it. He supposes that is a pretty good reason to be upset at him. But, before Finn could answer, Rachel rambled on quickly. "Cause, you know, I was just making out with this totally random guy, and I was thinking to myself, 'am I cheating right now or what?' and I thought about it and I realized that probably not since we haven't talked in forever, and boyfriends and girlfriends usually talk everyday, and fiancés probably talk even more, so I was just wondering what we are cause you just kinda left and now I don't know what you're doing or if you are with some—".

Her rambling was cut short by her yelling and a big crashing sound, and then the phone went dead. Finn figured that she fell, being so drunk and all, and dialed her phone number back to make sure she was fine. He called a total of five times when he realized that she probably dropped her phone in the fall and it was either broken or lost. Sure he was kind of upset that she had just told him she was making out with another guy, but he still worried about her. And, it was his fault since he sort of left things really uncertain. He looked through his contacts and found the one he wanted, tapping the 'call' button.

"Uhg. This better be an emergency." Finn heard Kurt's sleepy voice come from the other side, realizing he was not with Rachel. This kind of made him more panicked because that meant she was either with Santana (not good!) or with people he didn't know (even worse!).

"Kurt, it's Finn. Is Santana with Rachel?"

There was a bit of shuffling and a pause before Kurt answered. "Uh no. Why are you calling, Finn?" He didn't sound angry, but more like he confused why Finn would call in the middle of the night to ask where Rachel was. Considering he hasn't spoken to any of them in while, it seemed strange that he would be calling now, however Finn was nervous knowing Rachel was out drunk with God knows who. She didn't sound like the Rachel Finn left behind—kissing random guys in clubs and drinking till she couldn't stand straight.

"Rachel just called me, but then she must have fallen down or something because the phone went dead. I just wanted to make sure she was okay and safe. She sounded really drunk…"

"Oh fuck." Kurt mumbled quietly. He shouted for Santana to 'wake the hell up', and the muscles in Finn's stomach clenched tighter. Santana wasn't with her. "Thanks Finn. We will take care of it." With that, Kurt hung up and left Finn completely in the dark about the situation. He tried calling back multiple times but each time, it went straight to voicemail. Finn decided that he could just call back in the morning.

Finn struggled to go to sleep that night because he kept picturing Rachel being mauled by another guy. It made him want to kick something so badly. He knew he had no right to be angry or jealous since he hadn't talked to her since he walked out, but he couldn't help it. Finn was so used to the fact that Rachel was his that thinking about another man touching her, loving her, and making her happy made him physically ill. So much so that he had to keep a trash can by the side of his bed just in case anything came up in the middle of the night.

* * *

The next day, Finn attempted to call Santana and Kurt for an update on Rachel's whereabouts, but they had either turned off their phones or kept hitting ignore. He was frustrated with them, frustrated with Rachel, and especially frustrated with himself. He was releasing some of this anger and frustration on his desk chair when JJ walked in.

"Hey, dude, what did the chair ever do to you?" He said it in a joking manner, but Finn wasn't really in a joking mood.

"Sorry." Finn mumbled out before sitting down on his bed and calling Rachel one last time, even though he knew it was in vain and he wouldn't get an answer. He wondered what the hell was up her, and was getting angrier and angrier with her at each passing moment.

"Whatever. So, I was planning on heading over to the football house soon. You in? We could take your mind off of whatever had you kicking chairs, and cross a few things off the list while we're at it." JJ was grinning as he said this, and Finn always found it hard to refuse him when he did this. He wasn't the coolest or smoothest guy, but he was a great friend and funny to watch around girls. He somehow managed to repel every girl he walked up to at these parties, and Finn felt badly for him. JJ just got really nervous in front of a hot girl and said the stupidest, most random shit, like 'do you like beets?'. Who asks a girl if they like beets at a party? Simply thinking about JJ girl troubles made Finn forget his own. He didn't want to think about Rachel Berry and her love life any more.

"Yeah, sure. Someone's got to help you get laid. You've been trying for months, man." Finn laughed as he shoved him a bit.

"Hey! It's not like you've gotten lucky since we've been here either!" JJ pushed back, but he is so much smaller than Finn that it didn't really do much.

"Yeah, but that's intentional, man. I don't think you have been trying _not _to get laid." Finn laughed again, thinking that he should try to change that. Rachel seems to be moving on, and the whole point of leaving was to find himself. How could he do that if the last memory he had of something intimate was Rachel?

JJ began to go on about how this would be the night and so on and so forth. Finn loved how optimistic and excited he got just talking about the possibilities that tonight may bring, even when he probably wasn't going to get very lucky. He kind of reminded Finn of someone, but he didn't want to think about her tonight. He was going out to have a good time, cross something off the list, and forget about his past.

* * *

He was hammered. Plain and simple. He was absolutely, 100% incredibly drunk. Finn was having difficulties standing upright and talking, and girls were throwing themselves at him, clearly seeing that he was vulnerable. Usually, Finn just stuck to playing beer pong with the boys and stayed away from the girls, always having Rachel in the back of his mind. However, tonight, he was actually really enjoying the attention he was receiving from the nearly nude women in front of him.

"Duuude!" JJ came up to him and gave him a high five, impressed at his current situation. Finn had two girls hanging onto him, kissing his neck and pulling on his arms to take him upstairs "You should totally cross off number 11 on the Puck list!"

Thirty minutes later…

Finn was lying completely spent, and still drunk, on an unfamiliar bed in the football house. The girls had left as soon as he had finished, but he was exhausted and stayed behind for a little bit after. He was still wobbly and wondered if JJ was here to take him home. It was already almost 4 am and they had practice at 6 am. He silently groaned thinking about having to run and lift in two hours, and vowed to lay off of the partying for a while and focus on football and school when it started.

He reached for his phone to call JJ, hoping he had crashed here last night instead of try to walk home in his drunken state. Finn could barely see the phone screen clearly in his drunken haze, and just pressed the most recent call, assuming that's who he talked to last.

As soon as the line picked up, he breathed a sigh of relief that JJ was still alive and able to pick up the phone.

"Thank God, JJ! I thought you'd be dead after last night! I'd just like to say that I can now cross off #11 on the list. Who knew having a threesome would be so exhausting; it is so much work being the guy." He was slurring his words a little drunkenly. He laughed at what he said, but when he didn't hear a congratulating response, he got confused. "Uh, JJ? You there?"

"No Finn, JJ is not here, but I'm glad that you're enjoying completing Puck's list." Rachel's voice rang through the phone and Finn's heart stopped. She was sitting in the kitchen with Santana and Kurt, eating breakfast when she got the call. She almost didn't answer, but finally decided to last minute because obviously Finn was worried about her. How wrong she was…

Before she could hang up, Finn shouted through the phone. "Wait! Please don't hang up!"

Rachel didn't say anything but she didn't hang up either. She was pissed at him, but she wanted to hear what he had to say and how he was get out of this situation. Kurt and Santana had perked up when they realized she was talking to Finn and was mad at whatever he had said. They made her turn the phone on speaker so they could hear the conversation.

Once Finn realized she didn't hang up and he had a chance to speak, he continued. "Rachel, I've been trying to reach you to make sure you were okay after last night. I..I'm so sorry you heard that." He mumbled the last part under his breath, but she heard it anyways.

Kurt gave Santana a questioning glance, neither of them knowing that Finn had just admitted to having a threesome to Rachel. Rachel, for her part, let out a long sigh. She didn't want to cry because she was pissed at him, and he didn't deserve to hear how hurt she was. "I'm fine Finn." Though everyone could tell she was anything but. "And clearly you are having so much fun in California, so it pretty much answers my question from last night about what we mean to each other. Here I was, thinking I was cheating by making out with a guy when you are having sex with two girls at the same time. Silly me!" Rachel's voice rising with every word she spoke, and by the end she was yelling.

"Congratulations, by the way, I know that's what you were looking for from this JJ person. Noah would be so proud of all of your accomplishments." The sarcasm was dripping from her voice, and for some reason, the mention of Puck really pissed Finn off.

"Fuck you, Rach! You have no idea what Puck would think because you didn't even know him. He fuckin' died for you, and you didn't even know him like I did! He fuckin' died trying to save you!" The words were out of Finn's mouth before he could really process what he had said, and even in his drunken haze, he knew what he said was bad.

Rachel's face went white and her entire body began to shake, causing her to drop the phone. She remained rooted to the spot, silently sobbing, and only moved when Kurt took her hand and pulled her to the bathroom. Santana watched her friend—best friend—walk away completely broken, and lost it.

Santana picked up the phone and began yelling in Spanish before finally switching to English so Finn understood her. "I don't care if you're hurting, Hudson! We are all fucking hurting! There is absolutely no excuse for what you just said to Rachel. None. You already hurt her so much, and now you go and do this? I don't…I have nothing to say to you. Never, and I mean never, contact Rachel again…or me for that matter. I don't think she will ever be able to get over this…" Santana's voice was slow, calculated, and cold, and as soon as she said it, she hung up. She couldn't believe that the Finn she knew, the Finn who was so completely and utterly in love with Rachel Berry just said that to her. Does he have any idea how much guilt she already felt? Hearing it from someone that is really close to you hurts even more. Santana began to worry that Rachel wouldn't be able to come back from this…

Finn fell back onto the bed and closed his eyes, running through his conversation with Rachel. He cannot believe he just said that to her. He was drunk and upset about her kissing someone else, but he just made it a trillion times worse. He did not blame Rachel for Puck's death; he blamed himself. If he had made Puck stay in that room with Mike, he would still be here. But because Finn didn't, every single time he saw Rachel he couldn't help but see the scene in the hallway all over again; when Rachel and Puck got shot. He still has nightmares about that most nights, and he didn't want a reminder while he was awake.

He knew Santana was right. He might have really screwed Rachel up, and he hated himself for that. All he could do now was do as Santana said and stay out of her life permanently. Puck's goals were supposed to make Finn better, not worse. If Puck had any idea that he was doing these things, he would kill him. It was too late to make it right with Rachel, but Finn could still make Puck proud. It was time for him to stop messing around and finally become a man.

* * *

That was exactly what he did. Finn put all of his effort and focus into school and football, trying to be the best he could be at both. It was early November now, and Finn was the starting quarterback for the UC Santa Barbara Gouchos. They had already won more than twice as many games as the team did last year (8!), and although they weren't going to make it to playoffs, it was still quite the achievement.

The classes were hard, but thankfully, the football team hires tutors for all of the freshmen to ease them into college academics. Initially, Finn thought his dream of becoming a doctor ended before it even began after seeing the classes he had to take. Biology, chemistry, calculus, and Latin were just some of the subjects required to get an undergrad in premed. He remembered back to biology in high school, and got scared because he would not have done as well as he did without Rachel's help. However, Finn realized that if he actually worked hard, completed the assignments, and asked for help, it was totally doable and really interesting.

Like, did you know the chicken pox is a form of herpes? Finn told this to JJ, who found it so fascinating that now he explains all of the interesting facts he learns to him. JJ is a computer design major, but because he thinks it's pretty cool, Finn tells him about everything he's learning, which was the best form of studying. So now, whether JJ wants to hear about the respiratory system or not, Finn recites all of his material to him before a big exam. It seems to work out well since he currently has a B+ in biology and an A- in Organic chemistry, two of the hardest classes on campus.

While Finn loves doing well in school and football, his mind does wander to a tiny brunette girl in New York City quite frequently. He hasn't attempted to make contact with her since the last call, and has only heard from Kurt through short, clipped text messages. Finn figures they all have a right to be mad at him for the awful things he said to Rachel, he just wishes he had a friend (other than JJ) to talk to.

His mom called soon after the whole incident asking what happened. Apparently, Kurt had contacted her to say he would not be accompanying them to visit Finn, and she was confused and worried. Finn simply explained that he said something he shouldn't have and his friends were mad at him, trying to downplay the seriousness of the falling out. After that, Carole stopped asking about it, but was worried about Finn since he didn't have anyone to talk to. When he reminded her of JJ, she said that she meant he didn't have any Glee friends to talk to. Glee friends are different from regular friends. They are so much more.

He didn't want to, but Finn reminded his mother that there really aren't many Glee friends left, and considering three wouldn't talk to him, that only left Mike. Carole got really silent and sniffled at the remainder of the deaths, immediately making Finn regret saying that. Before he could apologize though, she was giving him Mike's new phone number and telling him to call him to make sure he was doing well. So, that's what Finn did.

"Hello?" Mike's voice answered in confusion. Finn breathed a sign of relief that his mother had given him the correct number.

"Um hey Mike, it's me, Finn." He wasn't quite sure what to say since he hasn't seen or talked to Mike since the funeral five months ago.

"Hey Finn!" He was happy to hear from Finn. He had heard what had happened between him and Rachel from Santana, and although he was dissapointed in Finn, Mike knew he needed some support from his old friends. "What's up? I heard you're in California. I've been meaning to call you up so we could get together, but I've been so busy with school and dance."

"Wait, you live in California?" Finn was so confused since he thought Mike was going to the Joffrey ballet school in Chicago.

"Yeah. I guess we think alike because I wanted to get away too. I decided to come to Stanford to earn a double degree in business and dance. I heard you're at UC Santa Barbara. That's like 5 hours away, so we should totally catch up sometime."

They talked for quite a while before hanging up and planning to see each other over winter break since neither one of them was going home. They both realized that it was nice to talk to someone who knows you, really knows you. However, it also made Finn miss his friends (alive and dead alike) more than he has in a long while. He really wondered how Kurt, Santana, and especially Rachel were doing. Hopefully living their dreams in New York…

* * *

"We need to talk." Kurt said as soon as Rachel came into the apartment early Saturday morning. He looked at her carefully and frowned. She was an absolute mess. Her hair was long, limp, and straggly, she has lost too much weight, her clothes were horrible (worse than normal), and falling off her skinny body.

Rachel looked at Kurt in exasperation and annoyance while still trying to catch her breath. She had just run 7 miles and was tired, wet, and cold. It was early December and the weather was dreadful, so all she wanted to do was take a long, hot shower, and then lounge around in sweats the remainder of the day. It was the same thing she wanted to do everyday since the fateful phone call from Finn almost three months ago. But, apparently that was not going to be happening anytime soon because by the look on Kurt's face, she knew this was a serious talk.

"What?" Rachel asked innocently as she went to grab a bottle of water from the kitchen.

"You know what, Rachel Barbara Berry! You have been depressed for the past three months and refuse to talk about what Finn said to you. What you are doing is so unhealthy, Rachel! You barely sleep or eat, and all you do is run and study. You look dreadful, and I cannot let you continue on this destructive path any longer. I am putting my foot down and making you talk about this right now, or I'm going to call you fathers."

As soon as he pulled the father card, he knew he had Rachel. She really didn't want to make them worry about her more than they already did, and if they saw her right now, they would certainly be worried.

"Fine" She said as they sat on the couch facing each other. Neither of them said anything for a long while, waiting for the other to start. Finally, Kurt took a deep breath and started.

"Rachel, I shouldn't have to tell you this, but I feel like you need to hear it. Finn was wrong. He was drunk and sad, and he was so totally wrong, and he knows it too. You did not cause Puck's death. That murderer pulled the trigger and is responsible for every single death in that school that day. You did not kill him." Kurt repeated the words multiple times to get his point across. He placed his hands on Rachel's boney shoulders and looked into her sad eyes intently, willing her to believe him.

Rachel closed her eyes, letting a few tears escape before speaking. "Kurt, I know I didn't pull the trigger, but Finn was right. He wouldn't have been there if it wasn't for me. He was trying to protect _me!_ How can I not blame myself?"

"Sweetie, I don't know how else to say this, but it was not your fault. You did not kill him; you helped and believed in him. Puck made that decision to help find you because he loved you and he wanted to make sure you were all right. You left a deep impression on him with your kindness and belief. He made that decision, knowing exactly what was at stake. The gunman made the decision to shoot both of you, and he died. Living is not your fault, so don't feel guilty about it. If anything, you should feel guilty for wasting your life away now. I bet Puck would be rolling in his grave right if he saw what a mess you are right now. I know, _I know, _that he would want you to be happy and live your life like you always dreamed. So, we are going to get you back on track, deal?" He hoped to God he could get Rachel back. This was his last hope before calling her dads. Kurt and Santana had been trying since that morning, but nothing seemed to get through to her. Seeing a little recognition in her eyes let him know he had finally gotten through, even if it was just a little bit.

Rachel nodded her head, unable to talk. She thought about how true what Kurt said really was. She needed to stop letting the gunman win and let him take away her life. That's what he would have wanted; to break her—all of them—but Rachel was not going to let that happen. She was Rachel Berry, and she was going to become a star.

* * *

That was almost a month ago, and it was now almost winter break. Rachel had gotten her shit together, and decided to try out for an off off-Broadway show called Reasons to Live (kind an ironic title, but she went with it). Although it was not a leading part and it wasn't Broadway, she was proud and excited about getting her first paying job. It was a very dark and dramatic musical about a homeless family and there life on the street—Rachel's character eventually commits suicide. It was not a good show, but it did get some attention, albeit almost all negative except for compliments for Rachel's voice. That really made her feel good even if the music was shitty; all that mattered to her was exposure and experience.

Rachel had been pretty lucky that she was playing a homeless teenager though, because she was still a mess when she went to audition. They figured she was already in character and she just let them believe that, not wanting to admit that she hadn't put any effort into looking so horrible. Kurt was pissed that her "horrid and ghastly look" had actually gotten her a job. He was planning on helping her get back to her pre-depression pretty self, however, once she got the part, she was required to stay fairly thin and keep her hair in the same ratty style so she truly did look homeless.

She swore she had been practicing for this role this whole time, and not depressed like Kurt and Santana originally thought. They had a good laugh about that, and it was really good for all of them to finally laugh again. She still felt pangs of guilt, but it was just something she would live with forever. They will all have survivor's remorse and regrets about that day, but they have to continue living because their friends didn't even get the chance.

With that in mind, Kurt and Santana really focused on finding a profession that really enjoyed. Kurt discovered a serious passion for hair and was currently going to the Paul Mitchell hair school to become the best hairdresser this world has ever seen. He often tries to make Santana and Rachel his Guiney pigs, but they usually refuse. At least not until he passes cutting and coloring 101. One time, only a week into his schooling, he begged and begged Santana to let him trim her hair, so she finally relented and let him with the condition that he only cut an inch. Needless to say, a huge argument broke out because what Kurt considers an inch, Santana considers three. It looked pretty good, especially for his first haircut, but it was the fact that he didn't listen to her that pissed her off the most. She would not be getting in his chair again for a while.

Rachel, on the other hand, desperately needed Kurt to give her a haircut since she hadn't taken good care of her hair since leaving Lima. Unfortunately, her show required her to keep her hair the same and she could get fired if she changed it. He reminded her every morning that as soon as the musical ended, he was going to town on her hair, and she agreed. She just hoped when that time came, he actually knew what he was doing.

Santana was happily working as a makeup artist in the same salon in which Kurt is apprenticing. She enjoys makeup and it allows her to be creative, but it is definitely not what she plans to be for the rest of her life. She will continue doing it to play for food and clothes while still finding out what her dream job is.

* * *

March 2013

The day before spring break, Carmen Tibideaux called Rachel to her office to discuss "something of the upmost importance"—Carmen's exact words. This scared the shit out of Rachel because she really didn't want to get kicked out of NYADA. She'll admit, she has let some of her classes fall to the wayside—getting A- instead of A's—but she has a good excuse. She has been so incredibly busy with the off-Broadway show, and wasn't the whole purpose of NYADA to prepare students for working. She just one step ahead, right?

"Hello Miss Berry." Carmen Tibideaux said as she strolled into her office.

"Hello Ms. Tibiteaux." She replied nervously.

Carmen gave her a stern look and Rachel prepared herself for getting kicked out. "I wanted to talk to you about your show. I have seen it, and although it is a disaster, you are pretty brilliant in it, managing to make it somewhat bearable." She gave Rachel a tight smile, which she returned. She wanted to shriek! Ms. Tibiteaux thought Rachel was the best thing about the show?

Before she had time to celebrate in her head, Carmen went on. "I have a friend who is looking for a young woman to star in his Broadway revival of Cabaret. He figured that NYADA would have some talented, fresh young starlets and asked if I had anyone in mind. I was thinking of recommending you." At this, Rachel's eyebrows rose about a foot and her mouth hung wide open. Carmen looked at her seriously. "You would still have to go through the audition process, I would just get you the initial audition. I want to make sure you are able to handle this before I do it though. It is my name going on the line here, and I can't have you choking again."

Rachel sat there silently until she realized Carmen was looking for some reassurance. "Oh, yes! I learned my lesson and will never choke again. I will be ready and won't let you down Ms. Tibideaux." Rachel shook her hand firmly and then walked out of the door with the information for the audition. She could not wait to get home and tell Kurt and Santana!

* * *

"Kurt! Santana!" Rachel yelled as soon as she got home.

"What?" Santana shouted from her room.

"Where's Kurt?" Rachel asked. She didn't want to tell Santana without Kurt or else he would kill her.

"I'm here! What's all this yelling about?" Kurt replied as he came out of the bathroom with his green facemask on. He was annoyed that Rachel would interrupt his facial time.

"Sorry! I just have something important to tell you guys! Okay, so you know how I was freaking out because I had to talk to Carmen Tibideaux today?" They both nodded their heads because, yeah, they knew all right. Rachel has only been talking about it all week and crying about the possibility of getting kicked out. "Anyways, I went to see her and she said that she has gotten me an audition for a real Broadway musical!"

"Oh my God!" They both screamed at the same time and they were soon hugging and jumping up and down in joy together.

"It's for the Broadway revival of Cabaret!" Rachel shouted out above their squeals

"Holy fuck! That's, like, a real show, Berry!" Santana said with her eyes wide open and her smile huge.

"Oh my God! Oh my God!" Kurt repeated over and over again. His best friend could be Sally Bowles! "Who's the director?" Kurt said after they finally calmed down.

"Uh, you know, I have no idea. I just ran out of there as soon as she told me when and where the audition was. I guess I'll find out in three weeks, but it really doesn't matter as long as it's Broadway…" As Rachel said Broadway, her eyes glazed over and she pictured herself standing on stage in front of thousands of people who were giving her a standing ovation.

"Okay! We need to get you ready!" Kurt said clapping his hands excitedly.

"Yeah. You cannot go in there looking like _that _and expect to get the role of a beautiful, sexy, talented cabaret singer." Santana said as she eyed Rachel's appearance up and down.

"But what about my contract for my current play? It says I can't change my appearance in any permanent way or else I'll get fired. I can't afford to get fired if I don't have a job secured." Rachel said this nervously. She really needed to show the director and producers that she could look the part, but how could change without getting fired?

Kurt looked at her with a pensive gaze. "Okay, here's what we do. We will give you a complete Sally Bowles makeover—clothes, hair, and make-up—and then if you don't get the part, we just put in extensions. The rest won't be so obvious, so you will still have a job. But believe me, you will get the part in Cabaret and will never have to play a homeless girl again." Kurt was smiling at as he said this, thinking of all the details they would need to complete in the next three weeks.

There were three steps in the transformation process:

The first step was eating and exercising more healthily, which they implemented immediately. They had three weeks to get Rachel's sexy body back. Rachel had still been really skinny and not eating properly to keep up with her current role. Now, Kurt and Santana made sure she ate three full meals a day and had healthy snacks to take to the theatre in between acts. She also started to lighten up her running, going from 8-5 miles every morning to 2-4 miles and adding in abs and muscle strengthening exercises. She needed to be in tip-top shape for the role, with curves and sex appeal, not boney and weak. This also helped bring back the light in her eyes and the glow to her skin. Rachel was finally healthy, beautiful, and alive again.

The second step was to buy some new clothes. Most of the clothes she had now were oversized sweats and holey t-shirts—not exactly sexy. If she was going to play a sexy and strong woman, she needed to feel like one, so Kurt and Santana took her shopping. She still had some of her cuter dresses, skirts, and animal-print sweaters; they just didn't make up her entire closet. Now she could pair any one of those old articles with a new piece, and look really fashionable and sexy, but still like Rachel Berry.

The last step was a haircut, which they were doing today—the day before the audition—because her play was closed on Monday's and she was taking off tomorrow for the audition. This way, her current director wouldn't see the changes and fired her.

They were currently in the Paul Mitchell hair salon, where Kurt and Santana work. Kurt has been apprenticing for almost 5 months now, and he was a hairprodigy. He was flying through every technique with easy and precision, and might even get his own chair and clients by summertime. This was practically unheard of in the business! It usually took at least 18 months to earn an actual position on the floor, but Paul Mitchell was Kurt's personal teacher and he was majorly impressed with his raw talent.

Although Kurt was on his way to becoming a fabulous hairdresser, Rachel was still scared.

"Kurt…I'm really nervous." Rachel said, staring at her reflection in the mirror. Kurt gave her a sad look that made her go on. "Oh no! Not because you are cutting my hair! I know that you're great! I mean, look at Santana's hair! You did a wonderful job." Rachel smiled at Kurt to reassure him that that wasn't what made her nervous. "It's just that..I've always had long hair and this would be a really big change."

Normally, Sally Bowles (the role Rachel was auditioning for) had very short hair, either in a pixie style or chin length bob. Currently, Rachel's hair came down to the middle of her back and she hasn't had short hair since she was like 2. It was apart of her and loosing it was a big deal to her.

Kurt ran his fingers through her hair, playing with different styles in his mind. "I don't think we should go so drastic. I mean, God forbid you don't get this role, you would have cut off your beautiful hair for no reason. I think we should cut it just above the shoulders with some choppy, long layers and framing around your face. It will show the director that you can be sexy and sophisticated, but still playful and young."

Rachel looked at Santana for support, wanting to know if she should really go through with the cut. "Agreed. Berry, your hair is a disaster right now with all of those split and dead ends. If you don't get the part, at least you will look good, right?" Santana was smiling as she joked, but she really did think Rachel could get the part. She had youtubed the musical multiple times in the past three weeks, and Rachel would be a great Sally Bowles.

"Okay!" Rachel shouted, equal parts excited and nervous. "But, since it's so much hair, I want to donate it to Locks of Love so cancer patients can get wigs made out of. I'm sure I have 12 inches to donate." Not only could this haircut be good for her future career, but it could help people, making Rachel that much more sure it was the right decision.

Kurt made the big cut, placing the long ponytail in a plastic bag so it could be sent to the organization. Once the initial cut was made, Rachel felt more excited than nervous, and couldn't wait to see what she looked like when he was finished. She already felt like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders, and it literally had. But, it was so much more than that. She realized during all of this that she hasn't gotten her hair cut in a year, meaning this hair was there with her through all the heartbreak and devastation.

Not that her hair actually carried that around, but in a figurative sense, it was true. It reminded her that she hasn't really moved on as much as she thought. Until recently, she had tried holding on to her past in an unhealthy manner. Now she had the chance to start fresh and really begin living her life like she was born to. Whether she dresses or looks the same as she did when life was carefree and all of her friends were alive didn't matter; she would always keep them in her heart. Change is good as long as it makes you better, and this was definitely for the better.

Kurt was finally done, and when he turned her around, Rachel's eyes got huge in shock.

"Wow…" was all she could manage at the moment. Once she moved past the initial shock, she finally broke out into a smile. "It's perfect, Kurt! Thank you so much! I love it!" She shook her head, letting her hair move and flow around her. It brushed her shoulders and had long layers throughout that gave it a super sexy and sultry vibe. Kurt had cut long, face-framing bangs to the side, which made her mahogany eyes come alive and sparkle like they used to. Quite simply, Rachel looked hot and felt extremely confident when she walked into the audition the next day.

"Name!" A loud male voice echoed from the seats. He didn't even look up at the stage yet, which made Rachel annoyed, but she wasn't going to let it mess her up

"Rachel Berry" she said confidently and calmly.

Finally he looked up at her, and appraised her appearance. Mostly, he would take one look at the girl and tell her to leave, however, this one had something special about her. "Okay, very well. Begin."

Rachel took a deep, relaxing breath, and then nodded at the pianist to start.

"Maybe this time…"


	5. Don't You Forget About Me

**Sorry this took so long! Hopefully it is worth the wait and I will get the next chapter up sooner. Please comment :)**

**I do not own Glee. Chapter title from "Don't You (Forget About Me)" by Simple Minds **

* * *

August 2013

Rachel sat in the chair backstage, getting her wig put on and her make-up touched up before the show started. It started in less than five minutes, and she was nervously wringing her hands in her lap. She always imagined being fearless before her first Broadway performance, however, most of this whole experience wasn't going the way she imagined. She always pictured a certain, tall, freckled man would be sitting in the audience with flowers in her hand, cheering her on. But, things don't always turn out the way you planned, and this was her Broadway debut, so nothing was going to bring her down anymore. She spent the whole week thinking about him, so now it was time to focus.

Finn had constantly been on her mind and she just couldn't shake the sad feeling that consumed her when she thought of him. Although she wanted to hate him for what he said to her, if she was being completely honest with herself, she forgave him for that a while ago. She would never forget the horrible words he used against her, but she knew that he was—hell, probably still _is—_coming to terms and healing from the shooting. Kurt, Santana, and Rachel have all had melt downs because they were having a bad day and something triggered memories of the shooting, but they had each other to talk them through it and make them feel better. Finn was alone in California and had no one to talk through the traumatic event with. And unfortunately, he let it all out on Rachel.

It wasn't that Rachel wasn't angry with Finn, she was. However, what surprised her the most was what she was so angry with him for. Although Santana had specifically told him never to contact her again, wouldn't he have at least tried _something_ if he really loved her? She was pissed that he gave up hope of her ever forgiving him, and so accepting of be out of her life forever. If he hadn't given up, they might have some sort of relationship with each other now, even if it was limited to a call or text a year. Anything would be better than this. She missed him so much, because more than anything, he was her best friend and now she felt like she lost him in the shooting along with everyone else.

She was pulled out of her bubble by one of her stage-managers shouting that it was time. "Places everyone! Show time!"

She took one last breath to clear her mind and forget the nerves. She needed to remember to soak up every second of this. She was about to live her dream and she wanted to keep this moment with her forever.

* * *

The show went perfectly. Rachel knew it was her best performance to date, and the cast and crew was so talented, she could see this getting great reviews and maybe even Tonys. As she took her bow, she looked out into the audience, picking out her fathers, Santana, Kurt, Burt and Carole. She scanned the crowd one last time, looking for the familiar face, hopeful he had secretly come, but didn't see him. A couple of times throughout the performance, she thought she saw him, but it never turned out to be him. It was just her eyes playing tricks on her and wishful thinking.

She skipped happily to her dressing room, still feeling a high from the standing ovation. She was going to change quickly and then go out for drinks with her family and friends to celebrate opening night. As soon as she walked into her room, she was assaulted by the smell of flowers lining the entire surface of her desk. She looked through the cards attached, finding one from her fathers, Kurt and Santana, and a bunch of classmates at NYADA.

The last one she saw made her heart skip a beat. Lying across her desk was a single pink Water Lily with an envelope beneath it. Water Lilies were her absolute favorite flowers and only one person knew…Finn. She carefully picked up the flower so she could get to the envelope underneath.

**Rachel** was written on the front in familiar handwriting, and felt like she was going to be sick. Did this mean he had been following along with her life? Had he sent this, or was he here, in New York, seeing her first Broadway performance? With all these questions swirling around her mind, she finally decided to open and see for herself.

_Dear Rachel,_

_ I cannot even begin to tell you how proud I am of all of your accomplishments. I always believed in you and knew you were a star, but now everyone else does too. I realize that I have no right to be in your life after how I treated you and spoke to you, but I had to keep my promise and be in that audience when you made your Broadway debut. I don't think I have ever truly apologized for all the things I've done wrong, so I just want to say (write, I guess) that I am so incredibly sorry. I'm sorry for blowing you off sophomore year and using you. I'm sorry for the whole Puck-Quinn situation—both times. I'm sorry I left you without warning and never contacted you. I'm sorry for blaming you for something you were a victim of, and were absolutely not responsible for. But most of all, I'm sorry that I didn't fight for what we had. It was special—one of a kind—and I screwed it up. I wish I could find another word to convey just how incredibly sorry I am because "I'm sorry" doesn't seem like enough._

_Reading this over, makes me realize that I hurt you too much in the past, and I wonder how you even put up with me back then. I know I wouldn't have, but you're special and that's why I love you. I will love you every day for the rest of my life. Even though our lives have taken us apart from each other, please never doubt my love for you. If you are ever down or feeling insecure, which I know you do sometimes, please remember that there are a lot of people in this word that love you and believe in you, including me. I never expect you to forgive me for all of the shit I put you through, but if you ever need to talk or someone to yell at, my phone number is the same. You know I can handle almost any Rachel Barbara Berry breakdown, so lay it on me! Except maybe female problems, I was never good at that, but I'll try if you need me :) As always, I have found myself rambling, but you know I have never been very good with words. I just hope they were sufficient enough to let you know how much I love and care about you, so please, remember that if nothing else. I know you probably don't want to see me, but nothing can stop me from supporting you. I look forward to seeing you in many more staring roles to come. Don't stop believing. Ever. _

_All my love,_

_Finn_

_Ps. I couldn't take my eyes off of you. You were born to be a star. _

Rachel was silent and still. She re-read the letter a couple times before the reality of the situation set in. Finn didn't let her go; he was still rooting for her and he loves her even now. She couldn't wipe the smile off of her face and her eyes welled up with tears she refused to cry. Finn had been here and saw her performance like he always promised. This didn't fix everything, but it gave her hope that sometime down the road, she and Finn could have some sort of friendship.

She placed the letter in her bag and continued removing her makeup and fixing her hair after taking off her wig. Before walking out of her dressing room, she picked up the Water Lily and placed it behind her ear. She gave herself a smile in the mirror and then turned off the lights. She felt more alive after the note than she did after her first Broadway show. Finn gave her a light and happiness that nothing else seemed to be able to replicate. She probably wouldn't call him right away, if at all, but simply knowing he was still there for her made her calmer and happier than she had been in a long time.

* * *

Finn stood outside the theater in the shadows, waiting for Rachel to come out. He didn't plan on approaching her, but he just had to see her out of character. Don't get him wrong, she looked amazing in her tiny, revealing costume, dark makeup, and short wig, but he wanted to see his Rachel. Kurt, Santana, her fathers, Burt, and his mother were all waiting in front of the theater for her, but he couldn't let them know he was here. This was something between Rachel and himself, and if he knew her, she wasn't going to tell anyone about his letter or him being here. He was hoping it was because she thought it was a special thing between the two of them, but it could also be because she was still so devastated by what he said. He was praying it was the former.

He picked his head up as soon as he heard a chorus of "congratulations!" and "you were amazing!" coming from the group. They had all engulfed her into a huge hug, and all he wanted to do was be apart of it, but he had taken himself out of the equation when he stopped frequent contact.

"Thank you guys so much for coming. It means the world to me." Rachel's beautiful voice sang.

It heart skipped a beat, and the breath left him when he saw her standing in the light of the theater. She was wearing a short, flowy, white dress with black heels that made her legs go on for days. Her skin had a glow to it and her eyes sparkled beautifully in excitement and joy. Her dark hair was shorter than he had ever seen it, barely reaching her shoulders in sexy, messy waves that made him want to run his fingers through her silky and shiny tresses. His nightly dreams about her did not do her justice…

As she happily chatted away with her friends and family, Finn just watched her every move, memorizing each detail so he would never forget. He probably looked like a creep, but that wouldn't stop him. She was like a drug for him and he had to get his fix before he went back to California in the morning. Her image would push him through 2 more years of college (he took summer school this summer), 4 years of medical school, and 4 years of residency. When he thought of all that work, he felt defeated, but when he saw Rachel living out her dreams, he knew it would be worth it.

He returned his attention to Rachel just in time to see an older man, at least mid-late twenties, approach her and kiss her right on the mouth. They shared a personal moment, whispering between each other before entwining hands and walking off with the rest of the group. Finn watched on with sad eyes, but knew it was inevitable. His and Rachel's love story ran its course and it didn't work out. He would be accepting of anyone she chose to date or marry as long as she was happy, and in that moment, she looked really happy.

Finn took one last look before turning away and retiring to his hotel. He had a long flight tomorrow and football practice the next day. Life was about to get hectic again, and this was his last night of summer before getting back into the grind.

* * *

7 years later…

2020

"Alright Miss, that's everything." The big, burly mover said as he set Rachel's couch down and wiped his forehead of sweat.

"Thank you so much" she said, as she shook his hand and signed the receipt for the cost of the moving company. "You did a great job! If I ever have to move again, I'll be sure to call you guys up." She smiled at him and his crew and walked them out the front door.

Once she showed them out, she walked back into her new living room and plopped down onto the plush couch. "Oh God!" she sighed out loud to herself as she closed her eyes in exhaustion. She had been working on all of the details of her move for the past three weeks, and could not be happier that she was finally done and could relax in her new home and start her new life.

Rachel picked up her phone and dialed the familiar number that seemed to make her feel especially lonely at the second.

"Hey Girlie! All moved in?" Kurt's voice rang through the speaker as soon as he picked up.

"Yes I am. And let me just say, moving sucks! I am never moving again!" Rachel got up from her seat on the couch and wandered over to the wall of windows overlooking the most gorgeous view she had ever seen.

Kurt chuckled at her response. "Good. I love that house! I cannot wait until San and I move out there in a couple weeks and it will feel like vacation everyday. These next three weeks are going to be hell without you refereeing our bitch fights."

Rachel laughed because it was 100% accurate. Kurt and Santana have a special, love/hate relationship that takes a certain person (Rachel) to calm them down and remind them of the love part quite often.

"Please, Kurt, promise me you will at least try to get along? I mean, you really don't need to pick a fight over every little thing…"

Kurt scoffed, offended. "Excuse me Rachel Berry, but throwing away my Chanel face butter is not alright!"

She covered her smile with her hand even though he couldn't see it over the phone. "It has been empty for nearly two years, Kurt. She was just trying to clean up and consolidate for the movers. Come on, who needs 22 bottles of lotion—most of which are completely used up—sitting in the bathroom?"

He let out a loud sigh, telling Rachel she was right, but not wanting to admit to the defeat. "Well, anyways…how's California? Call a certain someone who also happens to be in that state yet?" Kurt was clearly trying to change the subject from his problems to Rachel's.

It was her turn to sigh deeply this time. "California is beautiful. And, no, I haven't called him yet, but I will. Give a girl some time—I just got here this morning. Speaking of which…I'm totally dead right now from moving and flying all day, so I'm going to take a nice long bubble bath and then crawl into my new bed. I have to be up pretty early for the test shoots, but I'll call you later tomorrow, ok?"

"Yeah, Ok. Just please don't wait too long to tell Finn that you're in LA now. I know he's crazy busy with becoming a surgeon but the news will be everywhere, and it will surely catch his attention sooner rather than later. Love you, Rach. Talk tomorrow!"

"I know, I know. Soon…Love you! Tell San I love her too! Bye Kurt."

Rachel rubbed her tired eyes, and retreated to her new master bedroom. She hadn't unpacked everything yet, and as she made her way to her bed, a small box caught her eye. She carefully opened the glass jewelry box and took out the 8 letters neatly laid inside and brought them to her bathtub. Once the tub was full of bubbles and hot water, she climbed in and began to gently open the first of the letters.

It was the letter Finn had wrote her on her Broadway debut nearly seven years ago. After that first letter, she and Finn sent one letter a year to the other. They didn't particularly say much—they were just a way to let their feelings out and know someone on the other side was listening, but not judging. The letters were usually short and never needed a reply, which was the best part of all. They would write when one of them was having a bad/good day (week or month), something they were struggling with, or even if they were bored. It was a small way of reconnecting without truly reconnecting, which was exactly what they needed at the time. Neither one of them was ready for anything more than a short letter a year to remind themselves of each other.

The last letter Rachel had received from Finn had been about four months ago…

_Dear Rachel,_

_ Hope this letter finds you doing well. I managed to watch your latest Broadway hit, Moulin Rouge, on youtube and it was amazing! Wish I could have been there in person, but you were as phenomenal as ever, AND you received a Tony for best actress in a musical for it! Your first solo tony! I could not be more excited for you, but at the same time, I'm not surprised at all :). I wasn't able to watch the Tony's because I had a 72 hour shift at the hospital that weekend and couldn't get to the computer for even a second. Don't get me wrong! I love what I do, but it is the most exhausting job in the world, and sometimes, all the effort doesn't pay off. Those are the worst days…I'm having one of those days today, actually. I lost a patient today, and I know we did everything we could to save him, but it still fucking sucks, you know? I can't believe that I'll be 26 years old in less than 5 months…where does the time go? It's shocking to think how fast life passes you by…Which reminds me; happy belated 25__th__ birthday, Hanukkah, and New Year! I hope everything was perfect and all you dreams and wishes come true this year._

_Love,_

_Finn_

She had been planning on sending him a letter, but then she got the call from Tom Stevens at Paramount. They wanted her to audition for the part of Anastasia Steele in the movie adaption of _Fifty Shades of Grey_. She was really apprehensive at first—between the racy sex scenes and crazy media attention she would likely receive, she didn't think she would be right for the part. However, Santana and Kurt convinced her to at least audition. She couldn't say no to them, and thought it would be something new and exciting to try after doing the same boring thing night after night for nearly two years. She was also coming out of a bad break-up with her boyfriend of 8 months, Camden, and it was a real confidence booster that they had even looked at her for this role.

Long story short, she was exactly what they wanted—someone fairly new, but still recognizable—and she had three weeks to move to LA until the move started pre-shooting. She had been scared about how raunchy the movie would be because she had read the books and loved them, but come on! She was not staring in a porno! Thankfully, the producers, writers, and director were all on the same page and didn't want the movie to be NC-17, and therefore, unwatchable for most of the public. It would show partial nudity and contain sexual and suggestive language, but it would be tasteful and appropriate, like a piece of art, not porn.

So, here she was, living on the beach in a gorgeous 3 bedroom, 3 bathroom house in Malibu. For some reason unknown to Rachel, Santana and Kurt loved her so much that they had decided to make the move with her. Santana had found a fairly successful job with a casting agency in the city, and had been able to get transferred to their LA branch, while Kurt had decided to quit his job at the salon and start his own in West Hollywood. They still had to tie up a few loose ends in New York before coming out here, but Rachel needed to get to LA as soon as possible so they could do some screen tests with possible Christian Greys, which was proving an impossible part to fill.

Rachel was thankfully buying her time because she knew as soon as news broke that she was playing the lead in the most talked about movie of the year, the press and paparazzi would have a field day. She was basking in her anonymity for as long as she had left. Which, unfortunately, brought her back to the problem at hand. How was she going to let Finn know? Should she write, call, or just avoid him all together. She was partial to the latter, however, he was sure to find out soon enough like Kurt said, and they were finally getting a small friendship back. She was not going to loose it over something as stupid as not telling him she was within a car ride from him.

She decided upon a letter since it was their preferred choice of communication for the past couple of years.

_Dear Finn,_

_Thank you for the belated birthday, Hanukkah, and New Years wishes. I hope you had a Merry Christmas and happy New Year as well! I am actually writing because I have some kind of huge news…I have moved to LA. I recently got the staring role in a movie, and rather than just come out here to shoot the movie, I decided to take the plunge and make it permanent. I never thought I would want to come to Hollywood—I didn't think I was Hollywood material—but I guess some people thought differently. It was bittersweet leaving New York, but after 7 years, I think I'm ready for a change, which I also NEVER thought I would say! I still love the city, and it will always hold a piece of my heart, but it was getting a bit claustrophobic and depressing. Although I was getting job offer after job offer, I had become the go-to girl for any part that called for crying, depression, death, and despair, and I couldn't do that night after night anymore. I think it might have been rubbing off on me in a very negative way, and made me someone I really didn't want to become again. I know California is not always sunshine and rainbows, but a change of pace and scenery will certainly lighten me up, right? Anyways, I'm sort of rambling—which I tend to do in my letters to you—and I should get to the part where I say that I want to see you again. It would be absolutely preposterous to live in the same city and not even meet up! I thought perhaps when Kurt and Santana come into to town, we could all go out to dinner or something? They come in on May 20__th__, and I know you have Kurt's number so just tell him when you are free in that busy schedule of yours, Dr. Hudson ;) I look forward to hearing from you soon. _

_Love, _

_Rachel_

She reread it a couple of times to make sure she didn't sound crazy or anything, but then decided that it didn't really matter because these letters were supposed to be from the heart—without fear of judgments. She wanted to see him so badly, but she was also scared shitless. They hadn't seen each other since he walked out of her house that June day and hadn't spoken since a couple of months after that. Neither of those times were particularly great moments in her life, but he was Finn and he would always be apart of her life.

* * *

Finn's beeper went off and he jolted awake. It took a couple of seconds before his eyes adjusted and he realized that he was in the on call room of the hospital and had fallen asleep while reading the letter from Rachel. He had received it two days ago, but he still hadn't had the time or energy to pick up a pen to reply to her. 48 hours of working in the ER will do that to a guy, plus, he was still shocked that Rachel was breathing the same air as him in California. Questions raced through his head; was she with someone still? She had mentioned a boyfriend 2 letters ago, but hadn't mentioned him in this one...so was she single? He scolded himself for thinking like that and reminded himself that they were just friends, and he needed to focus on being the best one he could.

He jogged through the hallway, and was immediately met with shouting and crying. This was the norm in the ER, and usually, the person crying wasn't even the one in pain—it was usually the one who brought them in that was in such hysterics.

Thankfully, this was his last ER shift, and next week he would begin his two year residency in learning to become an orthopedic sports medicine surgeon.

It wasn't that he didn't like being a doctor—quite the opposite; he loved it—but he didn't love the panic and disarray of the ER. He was occasionally brought back to the shooting and the chaos that followed that, and was extremely worried that it would hinder his abilities. He didn't want to freeze up on a patient because he suddenly thought of the horrors of that day. He didn't become a doctor to be reminded of that everyday. He became a doctor to help people and he would still be doing that. He was combining the two things he loved—medicine and sports—to help get athletes back on the field and playing at their best again. It was not life or death, but it was still important and change people's lives for the better.

"Great." Finn thought to himself, but then tried to look on the bright side. Only 12 more hours in here and I'm done forever. Once he reminded himself of this, he began helping the doctors and nurses tending to the patients.

* * *

Finn was just finishing stitching up a young man who had gotten a deep cut above his eyebrow when the ER doors opened again.

"Female, early to mid 20s, head trauma from a car crash." He heard the EMT shout to the doctors who greeted the gurney.

Instinctually, Finn spun around and went to help with the patient in order to get a look at her. He didn't even realize that he had been holding his breath until he saw her light blonde hair, confirming that it was not Rachel. He felt like he was crazy because what are the odds of Rachel coming into his hospital injured? However, simply knowing that she was here in the same city had planted doubts in his mind of her well-being, which was crazy.

"Hudson, you want on this case with me?" Dr. Fleming, my attending, asked.

Finn was about to replay with 'yes' just to get out of the pit and into the operating room, but then another gurney was pushed through the doors. "Uh, I think you and Michaels have it. I'll take this one."

He jogged to the EMTs to listen to the information about the next patient. "25 year old female, complaining of abdominal pains."

Finn looked down and the fear he thought was completely unwarranted was realized. "Rachel? Rachel!" His eyes were wide as he took in her appearance—long brown hair, tiny stature, and big brown eyes—and he knew for certain it was Rachel Berry laying on the gurney calmly trying to hide her pain.

She opened her eyes and was equally shocked to see Finn Hudson standing over her.

"Finn?" She couldn't say much because the pain in her stomach was getting worse and she had to close her eyes to concentrate on breathing slowly through the pain.

Finn took one last look at Rachel before taking charge and becoming the doctor he was. "Can you describe your pain, Rach? On a scale of 1-10, what would you rate it?"

She opened one of her eyes, and Finn could see the tears forming in her eyes but she refused to let them fall. "4" She said quietly and about as unconvincing as she could possibly be.

"Alright. So a 9?" He gave her a small smile because he knew she was stubborn when it came to pain and showing weakness. He had a pretty good idea of what this was, but he needed to make sure. "Have you vomited, had trouble going to bathroom, felt feverish?

"Um, yeah. I was throwing up earlier and have just felt horrible all morning at work. They finally made me come in. What do you think it is?" Rachel was starting to worry because Finn wasn't giving much away as he lifted her shirt and felt her abdomen.

He felt for inflammation and tenderness, and once he detected both, he started to wheel her towards the elevator. "We need to get her to surgery; she has appendicitis and we need to get her appendix out quickly before if ruptures."

Rachel's eyes got big, but Finn gently took her hand in his while they waited for the elevator to bring them to the surgical floor. It was a very simple procedure, as long as the appendix was still intact and had not ruptured, but it was still a surgery. The last time Rachel had been in a hospital, she had just been shot, and all of her friends had been killed.

"Rach, you'll be just fine. I'm going to be here the whole time. Just count down from 10 for me." Finn quietly whispered into her ear as the nurse placed the oxygen mask over her mouth and they put her to sleep.

She gave him one last look before counting down, just to make sure he was really here with her. It seemed unreal that he would be the one in the ER when she came in with a completely unexpected emergency. However, Finn was there—right above her—and he would take care of her. "10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4…"

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed! Now that Finn and Rachel are in the same city, there will be a lot more Finchel interaction :)**


	6. Getting To Know All About You

**I do not own Glee. Chapter title from "Getting To Know You" from The King and I**

**Hope you enjoy and review!**

* * *

Rachel slowly opened up her eyes and the first thing she saw was Finn's face looking down at her. He gave her a small smile. "Hey. How are you feeling?"

She did a quick assessment of her body before returning her eyes to his and answering him. "Sore and nauseous."

Finn nodded like that was to be expected. "Well we did have to take out your appendix but luckily, we were able to do it laparoscopically, meaning the recovery time will be shorter and there will be a very tiny scar. As for the nausea, that would be a result of the pain medication and there is really nothing we can do about it." He gave her a sad smile telling her he was sorry she wasn't feeling well. "Do you want me to call someone for you? A boyfriend?" Finn turned around and fiddled with some paperwork so he didn't have to look at Rachel as he asked, but he needed to know if she was seeing someone.

Rachel gave a small laugh at Finn's obvious inquiry into her love life. "Finn, I'm not seeing anybody right now. It's just me, but I should probably call Santana and Kurt. I'm sure they've been trying to reach me for a while. Could you hand me my phone?" Rachel looked expectantly up at Finn, and he shuffled to the bedside to fetch her iphone for her, embarrassed.

"Here you go." He began to leave the room to give her some privacy, but she placed her hand on his arm to stop him.

"You don't have to leave. We are not strangers, and I bet they will want to talk to you to ensure that I'm not making light of the situation." She smiled and Finn returned it knowingly because, as dramatic as Rachel could be sometimes, she tended to downplay serious situations like these.

Rachel dialed Santana's number and nervously waited for her to answer. She knew she was in for a long screaming lecture from Santana and Kurt and was not looking forward to it.

"Where the hell are you?!" Santana's angry voice shouted through the phone so even Finn could hear it.

Rachel groaned as she pulled the phone away from her ear. "Um, well I'm kind of in the hospital, but-"

"What?! Shit! Fuck, I'll get a ticket as soon as pos-"

Rachel interrupted Santana's nervous rambling by yelling. "Santana! Please, just slow down and don't book a ticket. I'm fine, okay? I just had a little appendectomy and now I'm as good as new. And guess who my surgeon was?" She smiles at Finn as she says this last part, knowing that Santana is never going to believe her.

Santana takes a deep breath to calm herself down and finally plays into Rachel's little guessing game. "I don't know, who?"

"Finn! He was working in the ER when I came in and he made sure I was taken care of really well. You don't have to worry about me, okay?"

"Wow…That's crazy." Santana said, sounding a little bewildered by the coincidence. "Give the phone to him now." She was back to her authoritative tone and Rachel rolled her eyes but handed the phone to Finn.

He hesitantly takes the phone from Rachel and swallows the big lump in his throat. The last time they talked to each other, he had just said some nasty things to Rachel and Santana rightfully put him in his place.

"Hello?"

"Listen Finn, just tell me what happened and if she's really okay. You know Rachel is not to be trusted in these situations."

Finn is pleasantly surprised, expecting her to go back to the subject of their last phone conversation, but she doesn't. She gets right down to business and he has always liked that about her.

"She came in earlier complaining of stomach pains. It turned out that her appendix was inflamed and was about to burst, so we took her into surgery and removed it before it could do some serious damage. It was successful, and she should be able to go home in a day or two. However, I don't really feel comfortable with her going home to an empty house. She's okay, but that doesn't mean she can go back to her normal life right away, and we all know she will."

Santana was quiet for a second and I could hear her whispering to someone else, most likely Kurt. Finn was actually shocked that he hadn't pulled the phone from her and started freaking out yet. Then again, Santana was probably better at dealing with this type of thing. "When do you get off?"

Finn was brought out of his own thoughts by this sudden question from Santana. "Uh, I actually get off in about 8 hours." He had an idea of where she was going with this, but he didn't want to jump to conclusions considering Santana was not his biggest fan.

"You know I hate this, but Finn, Kurt and I can't come to California right now. We have already given our two weeks notice and we can't leave before it's over. We need you to look after her because she won't take care of herself on her own. Can you just watch her for a couple of days?"

Finn could hear the reluctance in her voice, but knew he was her only option. "Of course, but I think we should ask Rachel before we decide this for her." He said this as he looked at an expectant Rachel. She was trying to follow along with the conversation but couldn't, and now that Finn was looking at her, she was really interested in what they were saying. Clearly, she was the subject.

"What?" She finally asked a nervous Finn.

He ran his hands through his overlong hair, trying to think of how exactly to put this without her freaking out. "Santana and Kurt don't want you to go home alone, and neither do I…" he was hoping she would get what he was saying without actually saying it, but she still looked at him with a questioning look. "Rach, we think I should come home with you for a while until you are back on your feet." He put up his hands to silence her disagreement and continued. "You'll need to rest for 1-2 weeks, so someone will have to help with food, cleaning, and anything else you might need. I'm a doctor, so you'll be able to leave here and go home sooner if I'm there to watch out for complications or infection, plus, I'm the only person you know in LA." He finally finished his logical defense and gave Rachel a look to make her understand it was the best solution.

She signed loudly and let her head fall back to her pillow in frustration. "Fine. Just get me out of here soon." She had her eyes closed and she looked tired so she couldn't see Finn's small smile appear on his face.

He returned to the phone, almost forgetting that Santana was waiting on the other line. "Okay. She agreed. I'll keep you two updated with her progress, and make sure she behaves."

Santana snorted. "You better keep your man parts to yourself, Frankenteen, or I'll have your balls when I get to LA."

Although Finn knew she was only partly joking, he thought it best to reassure her. "I promise."

Finn was about to say something else, but Dr. Isaacs came strolling in to check on Rachel and he quickly said goodbye.

"Good afternoon Miss Berry. I am Dr. Isaacs, and I am the attending doctor on your case. I'm sure Dr. Hudson filled you in on your surgery, so I thought I would come and see if you have any questions and check on your incision site." He gently lifted up Rachel's hospital gown and examined her abdomen while Rachel racked her brain for questions.

"I don't think I have any questions other than when is the soonest that I can go home?" She visibly winced when the doctor got closer to her incision, but tried to remain as emotionless as possible.

Dr. Isaacs was still concentrating on her stomach when he answered. "We usually have our appy patients stay in the hospital for 2 days, and then ask that they do not return to work for 1-2 weeks. You may feel like you are perfectly fine after a week, but your body is still recovering." He paused his movements on her belly over a scar on her lower abdomen and looked up at her. "Hmm I didn't notice this scar when we were in surgery. Have you had surgery on your abdomen before?" She was staring straight at his hands on her faded scar, and he didn't even notice a change in her demeanor.

Finn swiftly moved to her other side and nonchalantly touched her hand, which was shaking slightly. "Uh…Dr. Isaacs, I was planning on watching her when she goes home. I'm off for the next 4 days until Monday. Do you think there is any way to get her discharged sooner? Tomorrow morning maybe?"

Dr. Isaacs looked a bit confused by the change of subject, but didn't question it. "Let's see how Rachel is doing in the morning and we will reassess in then." He gave them each a smile and nod and left the room writing something on her chart.

Finn peaked at Rachel and saw that she had closed her eyes, but she was still holding his hand firmly. He didn't speak; he simply let her hold his hand for as long as she needed to. A couple of minutes later, she finally released his hand and opened her eyes.

"Thanks. You'd think I would be used to answering that question, but it still sucks." She gave him a weak smile that he knew was insincere, but he let her lighten up the mood and returned it.

"No problem. We'll get you out of here as soon as possible. I'm sure you will recover much better at home."

* * *

After only one night at the hospital, Rachel was discharged, promising Dr. Isaacs that she would listen to Finn and take it easy. Finn had rolled his eyes at the part where she promised to listen to him because he knew it was impossible. Rachel was incapable of listening to anyone—let alone Finn—and Finn had a weakness for giving into Rachel's every demand. He had to keep reminding himself that he needed to do what was best for Rachel, even if she didn't agree. Plus, he didn't want Santana to castrate him.

"Wow, Rach, this place is amazing." Finn said as he walked through her door and let his eyes wander around the rooms. The house was modern, but Rachel had still managed to make it homey and comfortable. The back wall was all windows so the ocean and beach looked like they were right in her living room, and all Finn could think was that this really would be the perfect place for her to recover.

"Thanks. I wanted something totally new and different from my ancient loft in the city. The views aren't bad either." She smirked at Finn and headed off down a hallway. "I'm going to take a shower because I probably look and smell like crap."

Finn watched her go and almost revealed to her that he thought she looked amazing, but stopped himself. That would not be appropriate, so instead, he shouted for her to be careful. "Okay, but make sure you move slowly and keep the incision dry. Once your done, I can re-bandage it for you and we can have dinner."

"Fine, I'll be careful. Can you order Chinese food? There is a menu on the counter." She said from the other side of her bedroom door.

He went over to the counter and browsed through the menu for something that they would like. "Hey Rach, I don't see any vegan options." He had looked through it front and back three times, but figured he missed it because why else would she have asked for him to order from this particular place if she couldn't eat anything.

Rachel stuck her head out from the doorway with a small towel wrapped around her body. "I know. I'm not vegan anymore. I'll take the vegetable lo main and a spring roll please." Her face disappeared from view again, and Finn stood in the kitchen staring at her door. He was shocked that she was no longer vegan because she had been so adamant about it when they were together, but he realized that it has been seven years and they have both changed. He was anxious yet nervous to find out what else had change about her. What if they were too different to be friends again, let alone what he secretly hoped for—lovers.

* * *

It has been two days since Rachel came home from the hospital, and to say the house was awkward and tense was an understatement. Rachel always tried to do things instead of resting, and Finn had to be the bad guy and make her go back to her room and lay down. Now, she basically stayed in her room all day—with the door open so he could monitor her activity—and only came out for meals. Finn would try to start up a conversation, but Rachel usually answered with a short, annoyed response and returned to her room.

"Hey!" Finn finally shouted, frustrated at Rachel when she came out of her room for lunch. "Can we just cut the crap and actually talk? I'm getting sick of you ignoring me." It was extremely rare for him to have a day off, let alone 4 whole days, and he hated that he was wasting it doing nothing. Not to mention, he was feet from Rachel Berry, the love of his life, and they were barely talking or spending time together. This was not how he imagined this going when he agreed to help watch her.

Rachel turned around and looked at him with an angry look on her face. "I'm just doing what you told me to do, which is absolutely nothing!" She sneered at him and went back to looking through the fridge for something to eat.

Finn walked to the kitchen counter and stared at the back of her head. "I know you are mad that I'm making you follow the doctors orders, but you need to rest. I'm seriously just trying to help you heal! Now you are throwing that in my face and taking it to the extreme by lying in your bed all day. You're being a tad dramatic here, Rachel, even for you." Finn ran his hands through his hair, a habit he often did when he was frustrated, but didn't want to over react.

"Dramatic! Finn, you wont even let me go outside and sit on the deck! Keeping me locked up and in bed for weeks will not get me better, it will only make me depressed and hate you more!" Rachel was close to tears now, and Finn saw it clearly on her face.

"Hate me more?" Finn asked quietly, hurt as well. He thought that she had forgiven him for the past, but now he saw that she hadn't, and probably never could.

Rachel saw Finn's reaction and immediately felt bad for what she said. "I didn't mean it like that…I'm really frustrated right now and I just want to go outside and feel the breeze on my face and watch the waves." She looked down at the strawberries she picked from the refrigerator so she didn't have to look into his sad eyes.

"I'm sorry." He wasn't sure if he was apologizing for how he was acting now or in the past, but he figured he could never say those two words enough. He looked down at his lap and realized he was treating Rachel even more fragile than he would a normal patient, but that was only because she was Rachel. He needed to start making this better, and trying to establish a better relationship between them. "Why don't you eat lunch, take a nap, and then we can have dinner on the beach. That way, the sun will be setting and the heat won't be as strong. It's not good to be in the afternoon sunlight when you're healing because it could dehydrate you. Deal?" He looked nervously up at her, and she lightly nodded her head before finishing gathering her lunch.

* * *

Hours later, Finn had a picnic basket packed with dinner, and was leading Rachel out of the house carefully.

"Just take it slow. Short, choppy steps."

Rachel rolled her eyes, but did as he said because the incision site was actually a little sore today. Not that she would be informing Dr. Hudson about that little tidbit of information.

They didn't go far, but found a nice, cool patch of sand where Finn laid out a huge blanket for them to sit down on. He opened up the containers and revealed a light pasta dish with vegetables tossed in.

"I hope this is fine. I thought something light would be best since you are just getting back to eating solid foods. Also, I'm not really sure what you like anymore. It's been a while…" He shrugged sheepishly at the meal in front of them, but when Rachel picked up a fork and began to eat the pasta with a smile on her face, he was relieved.

"It's perfect, Finn…And it had been a while. I think we've both changed a lot since we last saw each other because I didn't know you liked vegetables." She poked his arm jokingly and he laughed.

"You're right. I actually like some vegetables now, though I still like them best when they are drowning in sauce." He paused to take a bite, and the quiet got awkward once again. It never used to be like this. They used to have such great conversations, and if there was ever silence, it wasn't awkward; it was nice and thoughtful.

Rachel paused her eating and turned towards Finn. "Finn, I'm sorry. For what I said earlier. I don't hate you; not at all, not ever." Rachel looked deeply into Finn's eyes and tried to convey that she was sorry for saying that to him.

He put down his food and looked into her eyes as well. "Thank you. You have no idea how much I needed to hear that, but I think we should talk about that night. I know it's going to suck, but once it's out in the open, we can finally get past this awkwardness and hopefully be friends again." He was pleading with his eyes, and he could see she was reluctant. However, she placed her fork down as well and took a deep, calming breath.

"You're right. This sucks right now, and I don't want to feel this way every time we see each other." Finn nodded and motioned for her to go first. "I don't really know where to start, but I just want to make clear that I don't hate you for what you said. Maybe at first, I really tried and wanted to hate you, but I couldn't, which pissed me off even more."

She let out a little laugh when she said this as she looked to be far off and visiting her past. "But, I understood why you said it. The shooting was still so recent and you had no one to talk to. That was your fault since you ran away, but still, you needed help to get you through all the hurt and guilt. I was so sad that you chose to sleep around to help numb the pain, but I didn't hate you. I wasn't exactly dealing in the healthiest way either. I was more hurt and pissed that you actually stayed away and gave up on me—on us. I waited two weeks for you to call or show up on my doorstep telling me how sorry you were and how much you loved me, but you never did."

Rachel saw Finn flinch at this revelation, but continued on talking because this needed to be said if they were ever going to get over it.

"I was so depressed after that, and Kurt and Santana had to physically drag me out of the apartment. I decided to fake it until I made it, and it worked. But then, you wrote that first letter and I didn't have to fake it anymore. I felt hopeful and happy because I knew you were there even if I could see you. You were my best friend and without your friendship, I didn't feel like myself. Slowly but surely, those letters allowed me to get back to being myself, and we were finally just Finn and Rachel again. So, yes, I was pissed and sad for a long time after that phone call, but I could never hate you, Finn. I just want us to be the people we used to be, but lost that day in the school."

Rachel had tears brimming her eye, but she was showing surprising restraint. Finn was overwhelmed with what he just heard and needed a moment to process it all.

"I-I uh…Rach, I want that so badly too. I want to feel like me again and be happy. You help me be the Finn I want to be." Finn reached for Rachel's hand and squeezed it gently. "I'm so unbelievably sorry, and I know I said that in at least three of my letters, but it seems so much more meaningful to say it in person, out loud. Even though you don't hate me for saying that to you, I hate myself. You're right; I was not dealing with the whole situation well, and I missed you and Kurt and even Santana. I desperately tried to feel some connection to Puck and I went around it all the wrong way, but that night was a wake up call. I wasn't living up to Puck's memory, or any of our friends' memory for that matter, I was being self-destructive. I won't say I'm happy that we ended the way we did, but I think it allowed us both to grow up and do what we needed on our own. Now, I need your friendship just as much as you need it, and I never want to become disconnected from your life again. You are my absolute best friend, Rach, and I want us to be able to talk to each other like we used to—like we could in our letters."

Rachel finally let a tear fall from her damp eyes, but quickly wiped her cheek clean. "I accept your apology, but I think it's time for you to stop punishing yourself for that night. It's not healthy, and that was not you. None of us were in the right mind set at that time, so we need to move on from that sad time in our past and remember the good times. I never want you to apologize for that night again. I'm sure I'll be hearing enough apologies in the future." She smirked and Finn let out a chuckle. "It's nice to see you laugh, Finn. I think you've gone super serious on me since becoming a doctor."

Finn knew she was only teasing, but there was definitely some truth to that. "Sadly, I think your right. I never really made friends out here so there wasn't anyone to have fun with, especially after I finished my undergrad and went to med school."

Rachel gave Finn a wicked smile. "Well that's all about to change because Kurt, Santana and I definitely know how to have some fun."

Finn gave her a curious smile and picked up his food again. "Alright, now that all the serious shit is out and sorted, let's have some fun and get to know each other again. I really want to know what adult Rachel Berry does for fun, because teenage Rachel Berry thought watching kitten videos on youtube was the ideal Saturday night."

Rachel looked horrified that Finn said that and playfully hit him. "Hey! You said you loved that!"

Finn just laughed loudly. "Rach, I only said that to have sex with you. I needed to keep you happy—Ow!" Finn shouted and put his hand to his side where Rachel had elbowed him. When did she get so feisty and violent.

"Finn! You're not supposed to admit to that! Just lie and say you loved it so I can keep believing that I actually found a guy who loved kittens as much as me." She was mock pouting and had her arms crossed across her chest, waiting for him to comply.

"Okay, okay. I loved spending every single Saturday night of my senior year watching kittens on youtube. I couldn't think of anything I would have liked more." He said it in a monotone, robotic voice, but it still appeased Rachel.

"Perfect!" Rachel clapped her hands together happily. "Now that we have this settled, I think we should play a game. I ask you a question, you answer, and then you get to ask me one."

"Alright." Finn agreed. "I'll go first. Favorite color."

"Ohh that's a hard one. I love lots of colors, but I think I would say coral."

Finn placed a hand to his chest and faked his shock. "What?! Not bubble gum pick anymore?"

"No! I have grown up and seen the faults of my past. Now it just gives me a headache." She laughed a little as she said it, thinking of when Kurt used to say that to her about her room. She had been so offended then, but now she couldn't help but think she was crazy back then and holding on to her childhood with her love of bubblegum pink. "Okay, my turn. What's your favorite food?"

"That's easy. Yellow cake with chocolate icing."

"That's not food, Finn! That is desert!"

"I don't care. If I could have one thing everyday for the rest of my life-"

"You would be dead if you aye that everyday!" Rachel interrupted with a giggle. "However, I'll let that slide, because you eat vegetables now." She gave him a huge smile and he returned it.

Finn continued with the questions. "Favorite season?"

"Summer. The last movie you saw in theaters?"

"Wow, it's been a while. I guess it was the second X-Men movie."

Rachel couldn't hide her shock. "You're kidding right? That was nearly 5 years ago!"

He just shrugged and smiled sheepishly. "School has been my whole life for the past 8 years. I never had time to go out, let alone spend money on a movie. Thankfully, I'm done with my residency and can finally work normal hours and make money."

"Well luckily you for you, I love movies and spending money! I'll teach you the ways." Finn smiled at her excitement and couldn't wait for her to do so because that meant he would get to spend more time with her. He watched Rachel yawn and her eyes droop a little, and knew it was time to call it a night.

"As much fun as this is, we should probably head inside and go to bed." Rachel pouted, making Finn chuckle. "We can pick up this interrogation later. I don't want to overwhelm you with all my crazy revelations."

Rachel cracked a smile at Finn and nodded her head. "Fine. Let's go." She gave Finn her hand and he immediately knew what she was asking for. He gently pulled her up and into a great big hug. Rachel smiled against Finn's chest happily. "Mmm, I've missed your hugs, Finn."

He inhaled her beautiful scent and reveled in the feel of her in his arms. No one fit like her tiny body did. "I've missed it too. I've missed _you_."


End file.
